Review: Legend of Chamberlain Heights “Confederate Flags of our Fathers”

Sorry, HBO! The Legends got here first.

Spoilers Below

Surprise! It’s Dave’s birthday! Dave is actually Milk’s step-dad, but Milk calls him “Uncle Joey”. Things take a turn for the worse when Milk is dared to drink some “Cock Sauce” (hot sauce). Right when the birthday boy walks in the door, Milk throws up all over him. Threatened with divorce, Dave promises to take Milk on a camping trip to patch things up. Grover and Jamal tag along because they’re good friends! No, really it’s because they were going to go to Hoechella music festival, but since Milk isn’t paying for their tickets they literally have nothing else to do. When they arrive at the campsite it turns out to be a Civil War cosplay re-enactment. The boys are taken for a trip when the cosplayers raise a confederate flag. They decide to get revenge on the cosplayers by pulling practical jokes on them. They do everything from pulling down the soldiers pants to setting traps for the unsuspecting troops, to even pouring hot sauce up a horse’s ass to set fire to the battlefield. I won’t lie, watching the “Shit-Crew” pull off these pranks had me laughing in stitches. However, things go “south” when Dave’s friends have had enough, and start chasing the boys in order to catch them and “teach them a lesson”.

Meanwhile, after watching the police shoot an unarmed black man on tv and getting paid leave as a result, Montrell decides to become a cop, just so he can shoot someone and get paid vacation. That plan can’t possibly fail, can it? Marcel passes the test but fails the drug test. He gets the job anyway because, well, he wants to shoot people. Apparently, all it takes to get a job working for Chamberlain Heights Police Department is a desire to shoot black people. Montrell gets ready for a training day, which consists of smoking weed on the job because according to his fellow officers, “the shit makes the day go by faster”. As the boys in a blue ride around smoking weed, dipping out on restaurant checks and hitting up strip clubs, I believe Montrell is enjoying himself. Maybe being a cop isn’t so bad?

Back at the camp, the boys have been running all day and night. Along the way, Milk got left behind and gets lost in the woods. Jamal and Grover finally catch a break when the run all the way to a golf course and hide under a short ledge. Turns out the boys really aren’t in trouble for messing up the war, but Dave is worried about Milk. Unfortunately for Milk, the unthinkable happens. He… gets… raped… by a bear… in the woods. Damn. That’s foul. I wasn’t ready for that. I’m 100% sure that Milk wasn’t ready for that either. Poor guy. Shit. Meanwhile, the search-and-rescue party runs across a 9/11 re-enactment party. Woooow what are the odds? This is ridiculous! Even though both parties were doing the reenactments for the same reasons, an all out fight breaks out between the Civil War actors and the 9/11 actors. Then Milk shows up. He’s taken his revenge and killed the bear that raped him. In true fashion, Milk goes berserk and starts smacking up everybody. He saves the day! The favor is returned when Dave saves Milk from being hit by a screw that was launched at them when the rope and pulley that the planes, which were meant to smash into the “Twin Towers”, bust apart and falls to pieces. Dave takes the screw right in the ass… and starts bleeding profusely. Milk saves him once again by ripping up the confederate flag and using the pieces of cloth as a bandage to slow the bleeding. What a true bonding moment to bring Dave and Milk closer together.

Things work out in a different manner for Montrell. While he was so anxious to bust a cap in someone’s ass and get paid leave, he never suspected it was going to be his homie. Instead of shooting his homie, he shoots himself in the foot. The two homies laugh about it back at the house. Montrell ends up shooting his homie in the leg anyway because the homie smashed the chick that Montrell bagged back at the Diamond club. Ahh, what else are friends for?

The episode ends with Dave and Milk being closer than ever before, and both of them having an awkward limp as they walk away from the campsite.

This episode was the funniest episode of Chamberlain Heights I have seen yet. Foreal. If I had to show someone one episode of this show in order to convince them to watch it, this would be the episode I would show them. I was a little worried that this episode might be extremely racist when I saw that it was going to be about a Civil war reenactment, but once the show started flowing, I found myself laughing out loud at nearly every joke in every scene. Even Montrell’s adventures a police officer had me rolling. If Chamberlain Heights had more episodes that were as funny as this one, I could see this being a favorite show of mine. The jokes were on point I actually found myself laughing through most of the episode, save for when Milk got violated by the bear. Each scene flowed and was well put together on top of that. Another thing I found funny was the similarities between the Civil War cosplayers and the 9/11 cosplayers, and how upset the Civil War cosplayers were even though the 9/11 cosplayers were doing basically the same thing, just dressed in different clothes. And hey, the episode even ended on a positive note with Milk and Dave having a stronger bond than ever due to their experience. Just remember to keep an eye out for bears next time you go camping though…