English Dub Review: Conception “Would You Try Having My Child?”

No, I’m not going to go to your website! Stop asking!

OVERVIEW (SPOILERS)

Itsuki and the current two Star Children continue to be no match for the impurities, so steps must be taken to beef up their forces. As such, he’s going to have (UNH) double up (UNH UNH) his efforts by doubling up on his bedroom antics. After some hot spring bonding shenanigans with Mahiru (who, let me remind you, is his cousin), Itsuki remembers his promise to stay by her side forever. Blech.

Anyway, after some of the most minuscule flirting possible that feels like it was copy-pasted dialogue from the game, as well as some of the cheapest editing I’ve ever seen, Itsuki chooses Leone and Falun for the legendary Double Love Ritual, leading to the creation of two new Star Children, Scorpi and Capri. With their help, they finally take down an Impurity Lord…not that we get to see any of it because of this show’s budget the price of a tuna melt and open up one of the Star Wards. Oh, and there’s a rumbling coming from the labyrinth now.

OUR TAKE

What do you want from me?! This show is the cheapest, laziest, grossest, and the most exploitative thing I’ve ever covered and nothing about this episode did anything to even remotely change that impression. It cuts corners at every opportunity, it pads out every other scene with a deluge of unfunny gags from Mana (the one mascot character I’ve wanted to see burned alive more than Kyubey from Madoka Magica), and it even fails at its sole goddamn impetus for existence: being sexy. The one, ONE upside here is that they’re speeding up the pace so we don’t have the deal with this crap any longer than we absolutely have to. Heck, why not just have a goddamn orgy while you’re at it and end things with the next episode, huh?!

But of course, we won’t do that. We’re probably going to keep going one at a time with the rest of these Deviant Art rejects so everyone gets their own watered down fetish its own time in the dimly lit fluorescent spotlight of this abandoned strip mall of a story. All the while continuing to build up the vibes between Itsuki and Mahiru until she’s actually pregnant with his regular human child, just like the fake-out at the beginning of the show but this time for real. Sorry if I spoiled the ending for you but it’s not hard to see an incest brick coming from a mile away, even if I don’t live in the deep south.

Okay, what else, what else, uh…well, the actual “bonding moments” between Itsuki and the other girls continues to be completely one note, as they only ever need one solo conversation to immediately be D to F. I almost have to commend Ruka for holding up as long as she did by waiting until the third time they’d met to finally give in. I mean, I guess now that all the introductions are out of the way, future solo episodes will give more time to developing the girl in some way, but who am I kidding here? It’s still not going to feel any less earned, genuine, or just plain gross as it does now.

The bar is already so low for Conception as of right now, and I hoped keeping low expectations for it would at least make having to cover this trash morbidly fun, but that would require even the slightest bit of fun being put in by the staff and it is as clear as it has always been that this is just a paycheck for everyone involved.