English Dub Review: Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure: Diamond is Unbreakable “Yukako Yamagishi Dreams of Cinderella”

Koichi Muyo: Trouble in Morioh

OVERVIEW (SPOILERS)

Yukako is having a hard time trying to get Koichi’s attention again, but can’t work up the courage to talk to him. On her way home from her latest stalking, she happens upon a beauty shop called “Cinderella”, whose owner, Aya Tsuji, is devoted to replicating the role of the fairy godmother of that story by granting her customers dreams with her treatments. She claims this will allow them to find true love, something she thinks Yukako is having trouble with because of her eyebrows. Yukako decides to give it a try, but doesn’t know that these treatments are done with Aya’s Stand, Cinderella.

It seems to work pretty well, as she runs into Koichi right after leaving and he has apparently been eager to see her. They hit it off great and end up going for tea, even accidentally touching hands. But 30 minutes later, just as Aya warned, the treatment wears off and Koichi runs away. Yukako returns to Aya and asks for something more longer lasting, revealing she knew about Aya’s Stand, which then uses its abilities to switch out slots on her body to really give that VA VA VA VOOOOOOM. With this, she’ll really be able to lure Koichi in…

…except until Rohan comes by to ask Koichi for help around town. And then his mom and sister. And then Josuke and Joseph and the baby. All hope seems lost, until a bump from Joseph sends Koichi right into Yukako’s arms and an emotional first kiss. Koichi’s understandably bewildered about this whole thing, but slowly warms up to the idea of having feelings for her. But then she starts slipping on when to apply Aya’s special make up and her face and fingers begin to crack apart, meaning her good luck has run out…or that the make up is an FDA nightmare waiting to happen.

But when all seems lost, Koichi arrives to help! The only way is to find Yukako’s real face amongst dozens, and Yukako decides whatever he picks is whatever her face will be. So he picks one and everything works out. Yay…?

OUR TAKE
Well, I guess the streak of good episodes had to end at some point, but WOW did it run into a downright weird one. I really shouldn’t be surprised by weirdness when I’ve been praising it for being just that and having “Bizarre” in the title, but the logic (or lack thereof) surrounding everything in this one were quite a drop down from the last few.

The first thing I’m confounded by is the focus on Yukako. I’m all for former villains getting chances at redemption, and this season alone has those in spades already, but it doesn’t seem like either Yukako or the show think she’s done anything wrong. To recap, she kidnapped Koichi not that long ago and held him captive in a house she invaded, then tried to kill him when he wouldn’t play along with her idea of a good man. Now, apparently all of that is water under the bridge instead of a totally valid reason to either have her arrested or flee the country, and now they’re in love. Romance hasn’t exactly been a huge part of Jojo up till this point, but I don’t think Araki really had that clear an idea of how to write it back then. And as forgiving as Koichi has been with others who’ve tried to torture, kidnap, or murder him, DATING one of them is a profoundly stupid move by any stretch.

Then there’s the “antagonist”, Aya, and the vague and confusing effects of her makeup. This set up actually kind of feels like the Italian Food episode I really liked, where a shop owner seems menacing because they have powers but turn out to be only interested in helping people with their skills. This seems to start out that way until we get to the end and Aya is blaming Yukako for becoming a Universal Monster while also testing Koichi by making him play a game of “Find Your Girlfriend’s Face”. It’s also unclear how much of their newfound love is because of them being genuinely attracted to each other or because of the makeup, and neither option sounds good. Either they really are ignoring her attempted murder and successful kidnapping, or their relationship is founded on chemical influence. Can’t decide which is worse.

I guess this mean’s Yukako’s joining the main supporting cast, which I’ll just have to live with for now. But this episode was just all kinds of gross, confusing, and just plain wrong. But Ms. Psycho Current Girlfriend may actually come in handy, as next week sees the true beginning of the main antagonist entering the stage.

Score
4/10

David Kaldor

Green Lynx (David Kaldor): Aimless 20-something given a paid outlet for his thoughts on cartoons. Fears being boring slightly more than being outright disliked.

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