Review: Bob’s Burgers “Legends of the Mall”

Overview (Spoilers Below):

It’s a mall day! The entire Belcher family is headed to the local mall on an errand. Bob needs new pants, and it takes a village to… buy pants I guess? Tormented by the kids’ teasing, Bob and Linda send them away with a (very) little amount of cash. But on the way to the store, the duo sees a sign for a book reading by a famous murder mystery author. Linda bails on Bob, who has to resign himself to solo shopping.

Tina goes off to find herself some mall dolls and runs into the perfect opportunity: a boy sleeping on a bench! He nods off against her shoulder, but before she can make a graceful exit, his two friends return and Tina finds herself caught up in a web of lies. Gene and Louise spend their money on animal riders and scoot around the mall in style until Gene’s gets stuck in high gear. Bob meets up with Sergeant Bosco and together, they shop for the perfect pair of pants. Everyone’s plans fall apart, but that’s what makes the Belcher’s such a fun family.

Our Take:

I’m glad we’re getting another mall episode. If my memory is correct, the last time the Belcher’s spent time there was in a holiday episode a few seasons ago. It’s such a great setting for an episode because the possibilities are endless. With all the different varieties of people and stores located in the building, literally anything can happen. And it does!

Tina’s plotline is probably my favorite of the episode, just because of how insane it becomes the longer it goes on. Bryan is such a sound sleeper! At first, everything is going great. Even once his friends arrive and Tina has to lie her way to a proper explanation, things were good. It was nice to imagine how things would be if Tina actually obtained a real, life boyfriend. Maybe if her own friends stopped taking her for granted or if Jimmy Jr. wasn’t such a butt, this could be a reality someday. But for now, it’s not. Once Amanda texts Bryan’s phone and ups the ante, Tina and Bryan’s fake relationship is destined for failure. This storyline definitely contained the funniest scenes for me, like Bryan’s friends siding with Tina even when she herself was trying to tell the truth, or how the mall security guard offered to plant stolen sneakers on Bryan. Honestly, if Tina wasn’t such a good, decent person, Bryan’s day could have ended up a lot worse than having a fake girlfriend for twenty minutes.

The other plotlines are fun in their own ways, but not necessarily as successful at being entertaining. The best B-plot is Bob’s solo shopping. Bob, like a lot of middle-aged men, is clueless at shopping for himself without his wife being present. It’s actually a little sad to watch. Luckily, he runs into Sergeant Bosco in the dressing rooms where they strike up a connection. Their progression is hilarious to watch. I don’t think they’ve ever really been too friendly towards each other before, but the combination of nervous shopping energy and a need for a familiar face does wonders. Before long, they’re picking out clothes for each other, sipping champagne at fancy shops, and leaving the store with matching patched pants. I just wish their trip had ended on a more positive note, like if they both kept loving their choice.

Gene and Louise’s plot is fine but gets old kind of quickly. Animal riders are fun and all, but I wish we would’ve gotten to actually see them breaking all the riding rules. With so many subplots in one episode, I understand why we didn’t spend more time with this, but their storyline sped along a bit too fast for me. That said, Louise and the kiosk employee’s laughing conversation of hypotheticals definitely stole the show.

Like most Bob’s Burgers episode, this one was immensely quotable. “We are here, but how does it know?” Jocelyn is astounded by the mall maps, and I love her for it. “They’re called pants, not can’ts.” Is there a living room table book of Linda’s sayings yet? There should be! “I can’t wait to meet him… in heaven! Y’know, for the second time when we’re both dead.” Tina’s storyline is impeccably written. It’s so crazy but just sane enough that you can follow the threads and see how everyone buys into it. “Say the word and I’ll plant some sneakers on him and take him to the back for shoplifting.” That security guard is a gem. “You can’t say ‘Nah’! It’s my book! I wrote it!” Poor author dude. Linda was pretty annoying in her storyline, I must admit. “When I saw her with a boy I didn’t recognize, I should’ve assumed he was a robot or a hologram!” Tammy’s mean streak coming to the rescue, in the end, was a good way to circle back around and tie her and Jocelyn into the episode again. “I can’t believe I kissed an eleven-year-old.” Oh, Jocelyn.

Legends of the Mall showcases the entire Belcher family doing what they do best: getting into crazy mishaps that are hilarious to watch along with. I loved how the episode made sure to incorporate all the family members into their own unique plotlines that made sense for them. Tina’s encounter with Bryan was one of my favorite Tina-centric escapades in a while, and it was great to see what it would be like if the show ever gave her an actual boyfriend. At the end of the day, I think everyone in the family learned their lessons. The greatest one of all being: don’t let Bob shop for clothes. Ever.