Review: The Simpsons “Love Is in the N2-O2-Ar-CO2-Ne-He-CH4”

This is probably the most depressing Valentine’s Day episode in the history of television. There are two love related storylines in play here. Neither are particularly uplifting.

The first story involves Professor Fink and the lack of romance in his life. Homer helps him “fix” himself in order to woo a woman. Fink puts in blue contacts, lifts in his shoes, and a microchip invention that will change his voice under his tongue. Armed with these changes, Fink quickly wins over the shallow women of Springfield. When he realizes how unhappy he is, he decides to use his scientific powers to match up other couples. Unfortunately, this still leaves him alone. Well, almost alone. He still has his robot girl.

At the same time, Marge and the kids visit Grandpa at the retirement home. The head nurse gives the residents a new medication that makes them hallucinate. On the plus side, they are hallucinating versions of their dead loved ones. But they are still hallucinations. Marge convinces the nurse to stop giving the patients the drug but Grandpa finds the hidden stash. Lisa and Bart convince him to come back to reality. But he dumped the rest of the drugs down the toilet and now they are in the Springfield water supply. I guess everyone is hallucinating now.

I was kinda hoping that this would be a happy episode. It’s Valentine’s Day! I get that there are single people who feel lonely but I can’t imagine that this makes them feel any better. The weirdest part? This overly depressing episode was dedicated to the memory of Julie (Marge) Kavner’s father. I don’t think I would want a “love sucks” type of episode dedicated to me. Maybe if one of the storylines ended happily…but not both.