Comics Review: Simpsons Illustrated #10
Will this double sized issue mean double the fun, or will it mean crap? Find out after the jump!
Spoilers!
“The Buck Stops Everywhere!”
This is the story of a five dollar bill. It starts with Abe Lincoln sending Homer as a stand in at a dinner theatre so Marge can finish the painting of the bill. Fast forward to today, and Burns is giving a grand prize of five dollars to the person who most improves the plant. Burns leaves, and puts Smithers in charge.Lenny put lights up that induces seizures, and Carl got animals that end up drinking radioactive liquid. They go on the hunt, which is only stopped by the seizure inducing lights.
Smithers decided to give the money to Homer, since he did nothing to destroy the plant. That five dollars gets Homer out of a drunken ticket when he lies about being Canadian. Chief Wiggum gets him to drink an entire jug of Canadian maple syrup, which to a true Canadian, wouldn’t get him drunk. The buck gets passed to Ralph, who gets tricked by Bart into buying him an ice cream cone. One of the workers goes on break and almost starts a revolt on the shop. When one of the workers is caught wearing a wire, he jumps out of a window into the rope ladder on Burns’s copter.
Break is over, and the worker is back at the counter. Bart scams the money back from the worker, ditching Ralph. Bart then pays his Krusty Club dues, which pays for Krusty’s lawyer, and is getting sued by Milhouse for permanent paint from Krusty’s Halloween costume. Milhouse gets 5 dollars after Ol’ Gil sets the court on fire. Milhouse ends up at the comic shop, looking for a mask, and Comic Book Guy forces a Bart mask on Milhouse, and takes the money. Comic Book guy ends up on Ebuy, and wins something from Frink. Frink uses the five dollars to get the final screws for his Frink Space-Time Continuum Buttinski machine. He travels back in time, takes over for Homer at the theatre, and almost gets assassinated by a guy who got his fruit basket stolen by Homer. I say almost, because Frink used his time dilation watch to not get killed. He kisses Mrs. Lincoln and travels back into the lips of his monkey. After brushing his teeth, he orders take out food, and pays with a five dollar bill with his face on it.
“Spree for All!”
Krusty’s Land of Misfit Toys is holding a shopping spree for a grand opening, so of course, Bart goes overboard with the entries, until Comic Book Guy gets thrown out for multiple entries. Bart gets home, and watches the news for the winning pick of the shopping spree, and of course, he wins. The next morning, he starts to plan his line, but the family gets in the way. It gets worse on the bus, when he is bombarded with people who wants him to get toys for them. Even Skinner is trying to get in on the action. Comic Book Guy bans Bart unless he gets the stuff on his list. He gets home, finds a death threat stabbed to the door, and long lost cousins from Togonia. Time comes for the spree, and Bart gets sick and tired of the hounding the town has given him. Logically, he incites a riot, and the rioters steer him through the store. He breaks free, but with a cart full of ponies. Suffice to say, he got boned.
“Scaredy Cats”
Bart and Milhouse talk Lisa into going to a monster movie. She is scared throughout the movie, and the boys mock her for it. They all go to their houses, and to bed. Milhouse and Bart are scared to go to sleep, but Lisa is dreaming of ponies.
This book kind of sucked. “The Buck Stops Everywhere!” was beyond boring. If I wanted an entertaining, yet questionably accurate accounting to Abe Lincoln, I would watch the fantastic Lincoln. This was such a chore to get through, “Spree for All!” had no chance at redeeming the rest of the book. It’s sad, because “Spree for All!” deals with the dream every kid had: winning a shopping spree! I remember when Toys R Us and Kaybee Toys advertised their shopping sprees, and I tried so hard to win. There is one thing, though. The “cousins” from Togonia were in for one panel. Why wasn’t anything more done with them? Otherwise, the story was great. Since Simpsons Illustrated has double the content, however, the content needs to grip the reader. This had nothing to work with for over half of the book. Not even ads broke it up. “Spree for All!” could really be a Bart Simpson Comics story, and that’s where it should have been to shine properly.
