Spoilers Below

What we now know as Arby N the Chief, actually stemmed from a video called “Master Chief Sucks at Halo 3,” about a Halo noob (or one that plays at that skill level) who gets a lucky head shot and henceforth believes he’s the Michael Jordan of Halo.

Debuting in 2007, the format for the series that followed has stayed consistent throughout its seven seasons, with a mix of both dubbed-over video game animation and dubbed-over live-action Halo figurine puppetry. The action figures, the Arbiter and Master Chief, have inexplicably been blessed with the ability to see, hear, think, speak, & feel, while using the robotic Microsoft Mike & Microsoft Sam voices to communicate with each other. They use this wonderful gift to sit around playing Halo all day, with in-game characters that match their actual appearance. Their only human interaction is with Jon, their roommate, and other Halo players while playing online. Jon is the only one who knows their secret, which makes it kind of like a fucked up version of Toy Story, in that they occasionally have to hide their true situation from visitors, delivery persons, and gamers in the online community.

When Arby N the Chief first debuted, it had a corny, hackneyed feel to it, like the creators wanted to make it seem like a cliché Odd Couple-like buddy comedy. All it needed was some canned laughter. There was none, but they often played lighthearted music in the background, like the Curb Your Enthusiasm theme or “Three Little Maids from School Are We” from the musical The Mikado. I’m going to be honest: I had to look that source up. I was familiar with the song, but only as the song the Simpson family sang when they were driving to their newly-acquired houseboat on TerrorLake, as the Thompsons, in the “Cape Feare” episode. Remember?

The early music also included songs by classic or current artists, like The Hives, Arctic Monkeys, and David Bowie, to name a few.

The Arbiter, or Arbiter, or Arby (though he’s rarely – if ever – called that on the show) is a freaky-looking alien character. He is the more intelligent, calmer, and politer of the duo. He makes level-headed decisions, uses good and thoughtful reasoning, and is considerate towards others. He likes having friends and being in the company of others, and even falls for a couple of girls. He is well-spoken and skilled at Halo, but is still down-to-earth, and can both commend other players for their abilities, and talk trash when someone is acting cocky, immature, or out of line.

Master Chief, or Chief, or Ch33f, is a figurine of the main protagonist in Halo, a cybernetically-enhanced supersoldier, always clad in green armor and an opaque gold visor. In the show, however, he is an immature, foul-mouthed, borderline-mentally challenged narcissist that speaks (albeit in a robot voice) like a cross between a lolcat and a 13-year-old girl texting. There are subtitles when both main characters talk, but I gotta think they’re more for Chief’s dialogue. He abuses shorthand, has very poor spelling and grammar skills, and has no concept of the feelings of others. He often downloads porn, and is that type of Halo player that loses their mind when they encounter a girl in the game (“Asl baybay? Will u send me nudez?”)

He will frequently lol, lmao, rofl (“My roflcopter goes soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi lolololololol”) and can turn almost anything the Arbiter says into a “your mom” joke. He also has an affinity for emoticons, and very-much lags behind his friend when it comes to Halo skills.

The writing has been funny since the beginning, with humorous bickering between the two, coupled with clever and amusing plotlines. They’ll throw in a pop culture reference occasionally (pitching The Shawshank Redemption 2: Taking Back New York as a film idea was an early favorite) and feature a lot of video game commentary and criticism – both Arbiter’s fair, veteran gamer opinions, and Chief’s simplistic, childlike, black-or-white viewpoints.

Even some aspects that other Machinima shows (like Sanity Not Included) can’t pull off – like the “choose your adventure” option, where viewers click one of two options on the screen and watch a video based on that choice – are successful with Arby N the Chief. I believe they only did it once though, in the “Party” episode in season 3 – when the series really hit its stride. If I had to pinpoint when the show really made it, in my opinion, I’d say season 3, episode 2, “The Wedding.” That episode was so damn hilarious that they revisited the theme at the end of season 5.

Despite the show having its best season yet, a 45-minute, six-part “movie,” Endgame, was released as a series finale following the end of season 3. I won’t get into the lame plot details of Endgame, but it was clearly a case of trying too hard, and its use of real actors and abundant fake blood was a far cry from what made the show a success up until that point.

In 2009, a sequel series entitled “Arby N the Chief in L.A.” was released, without the involvement of creator Jon Graham. It flopped. There was too much melodrama, too much emphasis on a shitty plot involving Sonic the Hedgehog and Mario, and not nearly enough jokes – some episodes utterly laughless. Machinima brought Graham back to write for the series after just two episodes, but it couldn’t be saved.

The following year, Jon reclaimed his role as captain of the show, and began independently producing a fourth season of the original show, promising to go back to, in his words, “classic Arby N the Chief back-and-forth banter and wacky around-the-house antics.” He spoke the truth, and the show entered its prime as soon as the fourth season began.

The quarrels were back, and the plotlines were simple, yet still creative. The contest in “Aces and Spaces,” and the quote associated with the episode’s title, was a riot. This season also saw the introduction of Greg the Spider, who communicates with a sharpie and a Post-It pad.

As previously mentioned, the idea of wedding crashing was revisited at the end of season 5. That episode and the lead-up to it were epic, and easily the best run of episodes in the series. Season 6 kept the ball rolling, also ending strongly, and finishing with the gruesome twosome conspiring to take down a ruthless and evil clan (called Chaos Theosis) who were using software hacks to kill and ban players from the game. Arbiter and Master Chief turned the tables on the gang, using the own software against them, and taking each member of their clan down.

Though the storylines are entertaining, the thing that makes the show is the characters. The classic straight man & funny man combo works. Although I was slow to accept Master Chief at first (as well as the show itself; I initially thought to myself, “I have to watch seven seasons of this shit?”) he – the show –  grew on me when I realized the best part of the show isn’t necessarily when Chief has some half-baked plan, or acts in an obnoxious or idiotic way, but when he is the voice of reason; the only sane man of the two. It rarely happens, because Arbiter always does what is truly right, but once in a while he’s just too polite. Or he does what one should do, but not always what they’d want to do. In a way, it makes Master Chief like the little devil on your shoulder – the (hopefully) tiny, evil conscience of yours that tells you how things should really go down. Sometimes the ideas are insane, or dangerous – hell, it’s probably like that most of the time – but the few times when the evil route is the best route, well that’s when Master Chief shines.

Take the aforementioned “Wedding” episode from Season 3: two avid Halo players decide to have their wedding inside the game and invite Arbiter & Chief to the wedding. Arby politely accepts, telling Master Chief he doesn’t really want to go, but feels they should. However, he still wants his buddy to go with him. However, Chief is vehemently against it – the wedding and the very idea of Halo weddings –  and eventually opens fire during the ceremony’s “if anyone objects, speak now…” bit.

I understand that Master Ch33f can get annoying, and even offensive at times, using homophobic slurs and references. The Arbiter began chiding him for this kind of dialogue, adding a balance to the show, and an attempt to salvage any sort of message the show could send out.

Arbiter addressed this issue head-on in Season 5’s “Stag Night,” while explaining the language in an internet show (show within a show) that Chief and himself created: “We’ll use words like that for comedic effect and because it’s a truer representation of the back-and-forth within the darker side of the online world. To counter-balance, we try to encourage tolerance and open-mindedness on the show. Or I do, at least.”

They do the same thing with women & sexism, showing the chauvinism that is rampant in the Halo online community, and rightfully condemning it.

The character of Arbiter really works because he’s easy to relate to, and he’s a perfect counterpart to Chief’s personality. Arby keeps him in line, and scolds him precisely when viewers would probably wish to have the ability to do the same. Arbiter adds emotion to the show, on both sides of the spectrum, even getting into some darker, death-related material in the seventh season.

That season – which is currently airing – has been announced as the final one, according to the creator. Although so far it has been a bit of a downer plot-wise, Master Chief is funny as ever, and is the glue that holds, and has always held, the show together. His speech and stupidity still manage to entertain, and whether he’s getting excited about something or making a joke, I can’t help but continue to laugh at him. Case-and-point, the Arbiter is lamenting being stuck with Chief as his only gaming partner:

Arbiter: “Might as well operate your control stick with my ass while I shoot.”

Master Chief: “Your mom operates my control stick with her ass while I shoot.”

A: “Alright, the last thing I want to do is encourage you, but I have to tip my hat to you for that one sir.”

MC: “Shut up.”

Or Arbiter putting down Chief’s driving skills:

A: “You’ll just plow into everything.”

MC: “I only plow your mother.”

He even offers occasional wisdom: “if you’re so goddamn smart and there’s no point to anything, what the fuck is the point in crying about it?”

He also excels in puns. One time, while taunting the Arbiter about how much faster he is, he came up with, “2 Fast 2 Furious, Fast Action Hero, Fast of the Mohicans, Faster and Commander: The Fast Side of the World.”

Chief never cares about what everyone else does. He’ll break from any conversation or scene to talk about or do whatever he wants, regardless of how important or dangerous the situation at hand may be. In a way, he’s living the life we all wish we could, but would never be able to pull off. You can’t act like you’re the only person in the world; a one-man show. In reality, the other people in your life aren’t supporting cast members, but leads in productions of their own.

Seeing someone completely neglecting that fact is what makes Master Chief fun to watch, but understanding that it would be boring and repetitive to see only this, all the time, is what makes the show great.

The plot has been getting heavy this season, and in the last few episodes some of the viewers might even be turning against the Arbiter, now that he’s turning to the dark side. Even without as much humor, the last few episodes of the most-recent season have been entertaining, except now as intense cliffhangers, making viewers eager to see the next installment. I guess in these ways the show has become kind of like the last few episodes of Breaking Bad were, but without all the meth.

However, this show – like meth – is extremely addicting. I’m hooked, and I can’t wait to see what the last 10 episodes have in store for us. I’ll definitely go through withdrawals when there isn’t any left to give me my fix. Also, when I watch the show I think there are tiny insects burrowing into my skin and I feel the need to scratch them out. No, wait. That’s just the meth.

 

_______

 

(9/10)

 

for the show up until this point. Check back each week for a review of the newest episode.

________

 

AUTHOR’S NOTE: Stay off drugs, kids. You might make a regrettable decision, like not following me on Twitter (@Gonzo_Green) or attempting to make a living as a writer.