Red vs. Blue: The 10 Best Stories from Season 14
Last one out, hit the lights
This season has a unique nature compared to others, having over a dozen and a half self-contained stories instead of the usual year-long story arc, I’ve decided to rank them from worst to best…or rather, talk about the ten best, because a large portion of these are so wafer thin in terms of content that I couldn’t jerk out anymore to say about them if I wanted to. And maybe, if someone from Rooster Teeth is reading these, maybe they’ll see which ones people may actually want to see more of in case they want to do this anthology again. So, combining multi-part stories, I’ve whittled this down to 18 individual entries, and after briefly listing the bottom eight, we’ll talk about the top ten best entries of the best fourteenth Red vs. Blue season. Ever. Of all time.
First off, the honorable mentions!
#18. Grey vs. Gray: You know why this is here.
#17. #1 Movie in the Galaxy 3: The underwhelming conclusion to the trilogy.
#16. RvB Throwdown: Roses are red, I cannot rhyme. This episode did nothing more than waste time.
#15. Caboose’s Guide to Making Friends: A look into Caboose’s view of reality. Never seen that before.
#14. The Musical: Trocadero has served this show well with its soundtracks. Let’s just stick to that.
#13. Room Zero: A nearly complete reuse of an already existing short was not the way to kick this off.
#12. Brick Gulch Chronicles: To be clear, I like this. And I like The Lego Movie. But I’ll probably watch that again before this.
#11. Immersion-Warthog Flip: Good production values and humor, but weird placement as the penultimate episode.
And now, the final ten!
I haven’t exactly it a secret I wasn’t fond of a lot of the one-shot gimmicky type shorts, but this one gets the number ten spot for a couple reasons. One being that it makes use of underutilized existing RT voices to represent the gender-bent versions of the reds, and are used to sufficient comedic effect. The other is that this made use of the Halo: Reach engine that we only really got to see in Season 9, which makes sense given that this is meant to take place between 8 and 9 when Epsilon was trapped in his unit. I’m already a huge fan of the show IZombie, so it’s just an added bonus to have the creator of the original comic writing this episode, but even without knowing that, this one really earns its spot at the top of the second half.
Miles Luna took over as writer for RVB back in Season 10, and in my opinion, he hasn’t always lived up the momentum set by the previous nine. Nonetheless, he has left his mark on the show with his work on the Chorus Trilogy, which most notably added space pirate mercenaries Felix and Locus, who soon gained considerable fan followings. This three-parter takes us into their past before they were pirates of any variety, and instead has them as regular non-armored bounty hunters bringing in a wanted son of a mob boss and naturally getting in way over their heads. They’re joined by their then-partner Siris, who is the designated “heart” of the group and is implied to be giving Felix reason to embrace some form of morality in their work, even if his is more of an anti-hero in this case. That kind of viewpoint is something he mocked or showed great disdain for after showing his true colors in Seasons 12 and 13, and this might finally give us some insight regarding why he felt that way. These episodes also offer a pretty distinct visual style from the rest, in that there’s nothing in this that really links it to the more high-tech and Halo-centric world that everything else has, and it’s usually used pretty well to distinguish itself.
Unfortunately, the reason this story isn’t higher on the list mainly falls on the third part, titled “Consequences”. As said in my review of that, there really aren’t many of those to be found, at least to our three protagonists. Because of Siris’ absence from the business on Chorus, many fans assumed this would be the story of his death, possibly hinted at by him trying to get out of the final confrontation and Felix’s protest at that. It’s a typical rule in fiction that if a plan is spoken of before it needs to be done, the way to subvert expectations is to have the plan fail when it is attempted. IE, The acknowledgment of the fact that the mob boss didn’t know about Siris’ involvement seemed like it was pointing to them, in fact, knowing about and planning for him. Instead, we know the edge our heroes(?) have, and it sucks pretty much all the tension out of the fight. One could say that this was a way of subverting the expected subversion, and thereby playing it straight. The problem is that it looks more like they wussed out on the natural path for the story to end on just to force a happy ending. Miles has said that Season 13 was his last season in charge, but he’s credited as Head of Story for this one, so it more or less is another part of his “era” on the show. This story is a well enough swan song for his time, even if the ending is a bit of a whimper…but I suppose it’s better than a cliffhanger.
#8. Red vs. Blue vs. Rooster Teeth
It’s only been about a week since I talked about this episode in its proper review, so this’ll probably be a lot of reiterating and summarizing of those thoughts. Basically, I still think this was a neat concept, both on its own and as the story to close the season on. Having fictional characters meet their creators and/or actors is usually a pretty interesting idea in the right hands, and Matt Hullum handled this quite nicely.
This episode kinda falls into the category of being gimmicky as a fictitious propaganda video to continue the conflict between the Red and Blue simulation troopers, but its placement in the timeline also paints the context a bit. This takes place after the events of the fifth season, and, more specifically, just before the remaining crew part ways to different bases before Agent Washington ends up gathering them all up again. It’s kind of the second most understatement of the series that the real purpose of the Blood Gulch bases (which was to observe the Alpha AI and keep it safe and secure) failed spectacularly, with the participants not only learning about the Freelancers, the AIs and meeting alien life, but even worse, becoming something close to FRIENDS after going through all those events together. This means the higher ups need to rekindle the dying flames of hate and war…with an ad campaign out of public access television.
But even if the result isn’t great, it’s not like their friendships between all of them are so strong that they’re going to rebel, especially when some of them are getting promotions or finally getting breathing space from the assholes they might actually love as much as brothers…but also probably hate as much as brothers too. It’s part of what makes the tone of the show, at least for the first several seasons, relatable. Even if they’re technically the heroes of the story, most of them are too stupid, lazy, crazy, or sick of life to do anything about the bad things happening around them, just short of if it might kill them. It’s really telling when Grif, the poster child for lazy and going with the flow as long as he doesn’t have to paddle, is the only one who actually is surprised, confused, and a little concerned that he may have to go back to fighting the Blue team after getting to know them so well. It’s a brief glimpse into a forgotten timeline through a shaded lens that tells more than it wanted in more ways than one.
Even if they’re technically the heroes of the story, most of them are too stupid, lazy, crazy, or sick of life to do anything about the bad things happening around them, just short of if it might kill them. It’s really telling when Grif, the poster child for lazy and going with the flow as long as he doesn’t have to paddle, is the only one who actually is surprised, confused, and a little concerned that he may have to go back to fighting the Blue team after getting to know them so well. It’s a brief glimpse into a forgotten timeline through a shaded lens that tells more than it wanted in more ways than one.
#6. Death Battle: Meta vs Carolina
Like I’ve said multiple times, action has become a big part of RVB in its current latter half, and bringing the characters into a show made to throw two people against each other to the death seems like an excellent way to pay tribute to that, as well as the one who brought it about: Monty Oum. Like the previous Death Battle episode involving a RT character, this invokes nothing but respect for Monty’s prolific animation style while also giving us a fantastic what-if fight we never got to see. Excellent popcorn material, but even better to pay respects to a talent lost before its time.
#5. Orange is the New Red/Invaders from Another Mother
The concept of other Red and Blue teams existing in the program isn’t something the show has shied away from, but these two episodes pose an interesting scenario: a Red team loses its Blues to random circumstances, and is suddenly lost without an enemy to fight. With the help of an alien ship that did their job better than they ever could, they go on a journey to find the next closest fight…which is coincidentally with our boys at Blood Gulch. But it turns out that’s not what anyone outside of the colonel actually wants. In fact, some start sprouting ambitions that they probably could never achieve, but that’s what happens when what you thought was your goal suddenly vanishes. Aside from a forced tragic death of all the new characters introduced, this was a really intriguing perspective on the Sim Troop role in the story, and definitely gave me hope going into this season.
#4. Head Cannon
Taking place alongside the final episode of Season 5, this episode gets more into the head of the AI known as Omega AKA O’Malley. During this finale, Omega used an AI’s ability to jump into the heads of certain characters and influence their actions, mostly using Caboose and Doc. However, while we did get to see inside Caboose’s head from time to time, we never saw what Omega did when he played hot potato with nearly everyone else in the canyon, until now. What really brings this story into this high on the list is that it feels right at home as another episode of Blood Gulch, with all the humor and characters consistent with the tone that story arc had. This is made all the more surprising by the fact that it’s written by Barbara Dunkelman, who I’m not sure had many, if any, previous writing credits on RT work. If not, she’s definitely proven she deserves more opportunities with this diamond.
#3. From Stumbled Beginnings/Fifty Shades of Red/Why They’re Here
Basically the prequel trilogy for this show, documenting what the Reds, Blues, and masters pulling their strings were up to right before the events of the first season. Like Head Cannon, it practically feels like a lost episode of those first few seasons, but with a few shades of the darker nature the show would get into past that point. However, it ranks higher due to its appropriately longer length and giving each member or two of (most of) the original cast the proper time to learn more about their backstories we previously wouldn’t have. Aside from that, it’s other main accomplishment is getting Ed Robertson of the Bare Naked Ladies back as Captain Butch Flowers, and I’ll always love it for that alone.
This story comes from Ernest Cline, an author who has prided himself on a lot of 80’s nostalgia, so it surprised me to see him willing to work on something as relatively modern as RVBMuch like numbers 3, 4, and 7 on this list, this story takes place at a time between seasons and feels like a special deleted episode that we only just now found. But what really brings this one this close to the top is the tone. This show isn’t really known for a tense atmosphere, at least before the fight scenes start, and has what is likely an overabundance in comedic scenes (being a comedy and all), but this doesn’t only make that usual quirk of the show acceptable, but meaningful. Having nothing to do now that Tex, Tucker Jr, and Sheila are gone and not having any reason to fight anymore, the guys have basically devolved into basically being roommates in giant dirt apartment, along with the occasional movie night, which they all hate, but Tucker loves because it’s his favorite movie: Reservoir Dogs. When the only movie they have is destroyed and devastates him, the rest of them (either being bored,
When the only movie they have is destroyed and devastates him, the rest of them (either being bored, annoyed, or genuinely worried) pitch in to recreate the movie. In the end, all is forgiven, and life goes on until the Reconstruction begins. This takes place before the Fight the Good Fight, likely because the remaining troops haven’t been given any orders to be transferred, but it also shows how relaxing and yet stifling the air right after the final battle can be. It has an air of transition about it, not only because of the perpetual sunset of Halo 2’s Blood Gulch, but because of the major events that have passed them and the ones that are on the horizon. It’s a story about just trying to live with people where you are, and that’s something I think we all need to learn and relearn once in awhile.
#1. The Triplets/The “Mission”
And of course the Freelancer one gets the top spot, right? Well, kinda. This story was immediately interesting to me as someone who wanted to see the rest of the unseen Freelancers immediately after Season 10 ended (and didn’t really get any new info on that from the so-called “Ultimate Fan Guide”…even though that’s still a great read that everyone who likes the show should get). This tale introduces us to Ohio, Iowa, and Idaho, who are the lowest of the known low in the state-themed team. They’re so useless that they never get taken on a single mission, which seems fine for the complacent Iowa and Idaho, but drives the ambitious Ohio up a wall. She’s worked her ass off to get here and now is just left on the sidelines, without a goal or purpose. Until finally, all three are given a very special mission!…that is really just a low-key way of leaving them out in the cold. Or at least as low-key as literally leaving them on an ice planet can be in that metaphor. However, waiting for them there may just be the purpose they’ve been looking for: A trio of equally incompetent members of their rivals in the Insurrectionists. They could band together to ponder the mysteries of life and try to form a purpose together, but Ohio decides to make them her team’s mortal enemies, which at least finally gives them something to do! And really, isn’t that all we need out of life?
They could band together to ponder the mysteries of life and try to form a purpose together, but Ohio decides to make them her team’s mortal enemies, which at least finally gives them something to do! And really, isn’t that all we need out of life? Purpose is the main theme for this story, which seeps into at least a fair amount of RVB’s overall themes, even extending to the trademark “You ever wonder why we’re here” from the first episode. It’s a masterful parallel to the rest of the series that was brought to us by Agent Washington himself, Shannon Mc Cormick. Also probably should have come after the Warthog flip.
Overall
And there you have it, my picks for the best stories to come out of this anthology. But there’s one thing I do regret about it, and that’s that we may never see any of the new characters we met in these additions. Their purpose is done, and now they no longer need to exist. However, there’s hope. As Vic proudly claims in the closing monologue, we are all able to make our own stories that we can share with others to inspire further creativity (and not in the evil Sigma kind). So, I think I’ll imagine that Turf’s crew didn’t die in their ship’s self-destruction, but instead landed on a certain frosty planet currently involved in a small armed conflict between three azure adversaries and three crimson-trimmed combatants. Santos decides to open that wine bar he always wanted with the alien cult and the other reds as his workers, with Turf as the manager. The two fighting teams come in shoot the shit and lay down their arms momentarily before returning to their constant and ultimately pointless war. And when one of the Freelancers almost dies, probably Iowa, they’ll call in a certain purple clothed merc who has a family at home waiting for him. And they’ll keep going in circles for as long as they like. Memory is the key, and I don’t plan to forget these guys anytime soon.
This is not the end of Red vs. Blue, and I’m somewhat happy that’s the case, but this was still a nice diversion. A reconstruction of recreation before we learn the revelation. And then 9, 10, 11 and so forth. Onto the 15th season!
But I’m not quite done with Rooster Teeth for the year just yet, as this Sunday, I take over the RWBY review for an episode! And while you see I’ve been pretty gracious with RVB, you probably won’t find me being quite so much that way towards its sister series. I’ll see you then.
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