Season Review: Crossing Swords Season One

Action figures, monster trucks, and classic toys, Stoopid Buddy Stoodios has done it’s fair share of homage to “shit kids used to play with before they had phones” category and they’ve done rather well for themselves as a result. Robot Chicken has a new season on the way, the studio is staying busy with the likes of Quibi, FOX, and Netflix, and now they’ve revealed their latest stop-motion effort in the form of Crossing Swords.

The series follows Patrick, an up and coming squire for a kingdom that isn’t exactly as formidable as anything you would’ve seen on Lord of the Rings or Game of Thrones. Instead, we get very much The Office take on the fantasy subgenre but, in true Stoopid Buddy Stoodios fashion, styled like the Fisher Price Little People line of toys from the 1970s, complete with no arms or appendages, but adorned with enough uncircumcised penile that should make your lady friend blush with envy. That’s right, this isn’t just your simple playtime series, there’s sex, drugs, and rock & roll in Crossing Swords that reminds you that this series is for the big kids.

For Patrick, we get to follow along with a normal guy just trying his best which, at times, sees him out to be a hero. Whether it’s fighting assassins, killing bad guys, or protecting the Princess from wretched millennials at outdoor concerts, Patrick’s got his hands full. And if that isn’t enough, his mom and dad remain sexually active (in public), and his siblings consist of a pirate, a clown, and a bandit, all of whom have spend years picking on their little bro making his life hell. His boss is a chauvinistic opportunist with a wife that is a sex beast complete with her own torture chamber. For what it’s worth, Nicholas Hoult is outstanding as “Patrick”. The X-Men actor plays a role that you would have no idea it was him unless if I told you or you searched it up on the internet. The rest of the cast is also very good, Luke Evans, Yvette Nicole Brown re-teams with the studio that did SuperMansion, Seth Green, Breckin Meyer, Kaley Cuoco, Kat Dennings, Tara Strong, just the list goes on and on and it’s a murderer’s row of talent.

In actuality, Crossing Swords does a much better job at the fantasy genre than even Disenchantment, and it’s funnier also, which is a nod to Tom Root and his team. While the show stumbles out of the gate at first, almost like an excited puppy that discovers all of the new toys it can play with it being a streaming series (like crass language, nudity, and sex), Crossing Swords eventually settles in and throws some solid strikes in the strike zone that eventually help with what turns out to be a complete game in storytelling, giving us a ravenous tale of revenge and blood lust that comes to a head in the finale but leaves us wanting more (judging from the ending, there are ideas for more).

The series’ production is all money here. Stoopid Buddy Stoodios keeps the action-oriented thumbprints that the Jedi Master Zeb Wells left behind and in it’s stead is solid puppet fighting action that is visceral and hilarious at the same time. John Harvantine IV’s more-than-solid team of Helder K. Sun, art director, production designer John Sumner, and animation director Brad Schaffer do an enthralling job of somehow pulling this thing the fuck off. How on Earth these guys were able to take toys with no hands and figure out fight scenes is probably a science un-to-itself, especially when you consider these toys are three inches tall. Additional kudos needs to go to puppet fabricator Max Shepard and costume designer Julia Rosner who had the unenviable task of helping make sure these toys were not only fashionable, but functional, and made out of god-forsaken wood!

Crossing Swords is a classic streaming case of a series that you need to get by the first couple of episodes, because when you do, you get a rewarding and hilarious effort that you’ll be happy you stuck with. Nicholas’ vocal performance is Emmy worth, and I’m sure the producers will be well-represented at the Creative Arts Emmys as well. With Crossing Swords dropping the same day as Netflix’s F is for Family, you’re gonna have a tough choice to make in which series you should watch first, the streaming wars for adult animation supremacy is on.