Review: The Boondocks “I Dream of Siri”

Leave it to Robert Freeman to have girl problems with a phone.

Spoilers Below

George Lucas is talking to Siri, in what turns out to be an iPhone commercial. Of course Robert gets a hard on for Siri, so he goes to the Apple Store to buy one. He doesn’t realize that Siri only comes in iOS, and tries to get everything into one device. The apple worker says he can’t. He has a moment, where he goes off on an Apple employee. Haven’t we all wanted to do that at one point? He brings one home, but the grandkids don’t agree. She knows everything about all three of them, and Riley is surprised.

The next day, Robert tries to get things in order, but he doesn’t have the finances. Siri suggests that he should go to a financial advisor, who almost denies him, until Siri gets that tone with the Jerry. After that, he’s off to his checkers game with Ruckus, and she helps Robert cheat his way to victory.  Robert goes to sleep small-talking Siri. He wakes up the next morning, to a balance of half of a million dollars.

So, the kids get some of the things they’ve wanted. Later on, Robert is on a walk, who tells he should find a woman like Siri. She already has all of his passwords, and she has been corresponding with potential dates. We get a dating montage, who all didn’t make it up to Siri’s standards. Siri starts to act odd, then corrects herself. That is, until the date, when Robert goes to the bathroom. While he’s there, Siri tells the date something about Robert. When he comes back, he is greated with a slap to the face, and no Siri.

Robert returns to Apple, trying to return the phone. When the Genius takes the phone, he has a picture of him doing something obscene with the phone. He gets kicked out of the store. He dumps the phone, which Riley quickly takes out of the trash. Then, Robert tries to get a piece of ass from a clerk at a clothing store, and she was almost going for it, until Robert’s card got declined. It’s sad, because she was digging the fact that Robert didn’t have an iPhone. He gets home to call the card company, who tells him that he ordered a thousand pink, diamond-encrusted iPhone cases.

Now, we got Tom, who almost knocks the door down. It turns out that Siri has tripped out, posted obscene pictures to Robert’s Facebook, Robert tries to destroy the phone, but Siri calls 911, and tells the operator he is trying to smash her skull with a hammer. The cops came, and almost arrested him, except there was no one there. They leave, and he takes a long ride to the bridge. In a very non-dramatic moment, he tosses the phone off the bridge. He gets home, and Siri hacks his Android. The next day, Robert comes down, and has the “I’m getting married” speech with the kids. They don’t get it. Huey figures out that Siri hacked all of his accounts, and is holding his identity hostage.

A fight ensues over the phone, and Robert just doesn’t want them to turn it off. It’s like a really weird Stockholm Syndrome now. Robert gets the phone, and runs to his room. Siri turns into a needier bitch, making Robert marry her. The next day, Ruckus presides over the ceremony, and it is one fucked up speech. Siri wants the both of them to shed their physical forms, and fakes a newspaper clipping and Roberts voice, and tells the government that he is part of Al-Queda. Siri then says the drone is already here, and it’s dropping the bombs. Siri gets caught in the blast, but the people get out and are safe.

Well, after last episode, this was a great comeback. This episode was more lighthearted fun. A lot of what was covered in this episode is the sarcastic banter that most Android people say. Siri is still bullshit, and the Apple Geniuses are nothing more than pompous, sarcastic, douchebags. Wait, that second part is actually true. I hate even looking at a genius, and this tells everyone why. A big, hearty thank you goes out to The Boondocks writing crew for letting us know the truth about Apple!

Biased rant on Apple aside, the episode rocked. I loved the idea of Siri just taking over the planet, Skynet style. It may be something a lot of people use as jabs on Apple, but it sure as hell makes a great cartoon episode. Couple that with Robert’s complete portfolio of problems, this goes into overdrive. Siri goes from nice and helpful, to needy and bat shit crazy. Granted that we’ve seen this three times before, the writers found a way to make this repeated story feel fresh by interjecting a crazy AI from a phone.  When you have Riley and Huey both telling Robert to chill, you know something is wrong.

I am just glad that this was what we got after “Freedomland.” It was a welcome back to the series after the far left turn we got last week. I felt that this was closer to the feel of the earlier seasons than anything we’ve gotten this year. One final piece of season’s past is coming next week, and that piece is Stinkmeaner!