English Dub Review: Million Arthur “Watch Out, Little Red Riding Hood”

FBI, OPEN UP.

Overview

The gang is celebrating Kakka and Brigette’s first Fairy Combine, but Renkin is feeling miffed that they figured out how to do it before she did, since she was the one putting in all the research. She feels patronized and belittled by the team for their lack of appreciation towards her constant efforts, and storms off to the library. Before she can get there, though, a prince pulls up in a carriage and his butler tells her she’s the princess he’s been looking for.

The butler explains to the gang that in the past, Prince Andy had been saved by Renkin from being surrounded by a few ruffians who intercepted their carriage. Since then, Prince Andy had been looking for her to ask her hand in marriage. Instead of calling child protective services, Renkin says she’ll think about it. The gang urges her not to marry someone who is very obviously a pedophile, but Renkin feels so underappreciated that she’d rather go with the pedophile!

Just as Renkin is about to accept his proposal at his castle, she and Bodach are approached by Touzoku and the gang of ruffians, who Touzoku reveals are actually just pissed off husbands of the women Prince Andy had kidnapped. They discover the brainwashed women and find out that the butler had hypnotized them (and Prince Andy) using a mind control Excalibur. His motive for doing this is so that he can literally jack off to Prince Andy cleaning out ladies’ ears.

…Anyway, Dancho and Tekken come to Renkin’s aid, Renkin realizes her true friends aren’t pedophiles, and Bodach uses Fairy Combine with Renkin to defeat the butler and return the women.

Our Take

There’s uh…there’s a lot to unpack here.

The first time the show actually addresses this child character being put in devious situations like this surprisingly didn’t involve Dancho — a shame, really, because maybe then it would have been a strong enough case for the FBI to finally knock down Funimation’s door and get them to stop hosting this (or, maybe it wouldn’t, considering some of Funimation’s other titles. Yikes.)

So thankfully, this guy didn’t actually wind up being a pedophile — he was just mind controlled by someone who forced him to act like a pedophile, so that she could be used as a…child weapon. To protect his…earwax fetish. Yeesh. Let’s play, “Is this antagonist just weirdly sexual and predatory because they’re trying to display these behaviors in a dark light, or is this just Japan thinking these things are as quirky and funny as Team Rocket trying to steal a Pikachu?” Answer: it’s always the latter.

The best part was how even the seemingly most level-headed character in the series still manages to prove that they’re just dumb enough to be on this show. Renkin — who is often said should be the leader in place of Dancho — still doesn’t have the intellect to deduce that there’s something wrong with an adult man trying to marry her. While they were just trying to underline her childlike naivety, it doesn’t line up with her intelligent displays in the past.

Also, realtalk — where was the rest of the team when Renkin was in danger? Why was it that only Dancho and Tekken showed up? Hell, even Touzoku was there. Guess they all decided to hang back at that Kakka and Brigette party that Renkin ruined.