English Dub Review: A Certain Magical Index “Mercenary”

Theresa May could learn something from this twenty-something girl.

OVERVIEW (SPOILERS)

Carissa’s British Exit plan (man, there’s gotta be a better and shorter way to say that) goes into full effect, with her knights patrolling the area and attack any against her, including members of Necessarius, Archbishop Laura Stewart, and Queen Elizard (who is oddly proud of her rebellious daughter). Carissa herself is with the Knight Leader and Index, who notices some vague connection to the spell that blew up in the Eurotunnel. That’s enough for Carissa, supposedly, and she prepares to go to war. Toma, meanwhile, is given time to go find Index while Oriana and Sherry (another former antagonist) take on Carissa’s knights. He sneaks onto a train to escape, but unknowingly frees one of New Light on the way there.

Kanzaki takes a helicopter to drop in front of Carissa, but is stopped by the Knight Leader, who has a literal homefield advantage as British land gives him powers greater than a Saint, so he quickly defeats her. That leaves Carissa to find and take care of Villian herself…until Acqua of the Rear arrives to save the third princess (with a new giant sword, no less!). He sends her away on horseback and facing the Knight Leader in battle. They seem on even footing, but Acqua’s injuries from the fight in Academy City start to catch up with him, though he presses on.

Also, Queen Elizard and Laura flee captivity and head back to Necessarius.

OUR TAKE

Three episodes into this apparently five episode arc and I’m still having difficulty finding much reason to hold interest, but I may have found out why. It’s not just that Toma has been pretty much flung to the sidelines again or that Index having one minor job is almost as bad as leaving her out of the story again. No, it’s that the people taking over screen time just aren’t that fun to watch. The Royal Family isn’t morally ambiguous anti-heroes like in the second arc of the season or lovable swathes of Japanese Christians led by a walking fashion disaster like in the third. They’re all kind of one note, meaning their interactions feel pretty boring, while their fight scenes are only slightly less so.

Queen Elizard is the same cocky old lady anime trope, Carissa’s motivations for taking over her country and pulling them into war are vague at best, Villian is the sweet and innocent damsel in distress (though the preview for next time seems to indicate there’s more to that),Knight Leader is the diligent watchdog, and Rimea is just…gone! And most of them have a connection to Acqua, who is inexplicably back in the story now to deal with some unfinished business between him and Knight Leader while also protecting his favorite princess. Poor Rimea doesn’t get a hot anime daddy with a giant sword to fight for her.

Apparently a TON of material was cut for this adaptation, meaning that the missing gaps in logic or feeling of rushing things wasn’t just me feeling insane! For once. No, it turns out things like understanding how Curtana Original works when Curtana Second doesn’t or why they’re targeting Versailles specifically are not things anime-only viewers were meant to know. Basically, it’s Index when it’s at its worst: piling on magical jargon and seemingly important terms that basically turn to gibberish without prior knowledge of how all of these things work. Thankfully they cleared away most of the New Light girls and kept the plot focused on just the bigger battles taking place so it doesn’t turn into as much of a clusterfuck as episodes 4-6, but it’s still too much of a mess to be forgivable.

Though honestly, with how completely bonkers Britain actually is at the time of this writing, I’d much prefer a magical sword fight between Meghan Markle and Kate Middleton over any of that.