Review: South Park “Basic Cable”

 

 

Overview (Spoilers Below)

Once again, instead of a regular South Park episode, we’re “treated” to a presentation of The Scott Malkinson Show. He’s that kid with diabetes the others always make fun of—particularly Cartman—who has had minor parts in a few episodes including this season’s “Board Girls.” Yep, we’re officially scraping the bottom of the barrel for alternatives to the South Park theme.

To begin his hero’s journey, Scott plans to beg his dad for the Disney+ streaming service. But first, he has to check his blood sugar, inject a dose of insulin, take a shower, and then recheck his blood sugar. In case you didn’t know, Scott has diabetes. Anyway, his father refuses to purchase Disney+ because he is a proud cable man. He also feels the nature of society is deteriorating; everybody is watching one million different shows, making it impossible for anybody to discuss one particular show by the water cooler. The exception, of course, is The Mandalorian. Everyone loves The Mandalorian because it features a baby Yoda.

Scott’s dad will never know the wonders of Baby Yoda, because he’s the best damn cable man in town. This means, he shows up late to jobs after doing his daily chores and extra-curricular activities on the company dime. But he slacks off less than all the other cable men, ever so slightly. When more and more South Park residents start cancelling their cable in favor of streaming services, the cable men realize their jobs are in jeopardy—and damn are there a ton of cable men in this small mountain town. Led by Scott’s dad, the cable workers plan to mess with the cables they laid many years ago, realizing people still need them to stream their fancy packages. They’ll get to it eventually, anyway.

At school, Scott immediately falls in love with the new girl, Sophie Gray, who also has diabetes. Problem one: all the other boys fall in love with her despite her diabetes. Problem two: Sophie loves The Mandalorian and Scott doesn’t have Disney+!

Since he has type 1 diabetes, Scott is used to disappointment and also perseverance. So instead of lying down and giving up, he goes to a Mimsy-less Nathan—Jimmy’s rival from summer camp—and buys an illegal Disney+ password in exchange for two boxes of insulin. A dangerous gamble, but it works. He gets Sophie all to himself and they settle down to a private, candlelit screening of The Mandalorian. But just when Baby Yoda is about to do something mega-cute, Scott’s dad’s plan goes into effect and all the streaming services start malfunctioning at the same time.

Sophie misses her show and informs the dumb boys that she doesn’t want to be anybody’s girlfriend—she just moved and is separated from her father for Christ’s sake! But she remains friendly with Scott, and is happy to have somebody to talk diabetes with.

 

Our Take

This episode was not about poop and was therefore immeasurably better than last week’s outing. And hey, it wasn’t a bad episode even though it revolved around a D-list character and his W-list father. There conflicting antics were enough to carry the half hour without relying on any of the heavy-hitters aside from a few small moments with Cartman.

While South Park mentioned Disney+ a few weeks ago—the day after it began streaming—it took less than a fortnight for the creators to dig in. We already know their feelings on corporate Disney based on the “Band from China” episode, but “Basic Cable” showed off their wider views on the future—and potential death rattles—of television. They set out to answer the age old question: Do we watch TV for entertainment, or do we watch it to have something to talk about with acquaintances to fill the void of mundane, everyday life?

Scott and his father both believe it’s the latter and yet they go about solving the equation in two completely different ways. The elder—who I imagine is also named Scott—is set in his ways and takes the conservative “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” approach. However, if it starts to break, definitely fool around with the cables and start a proper shit-storm to show your dominance. Scott—who has diabetes—may have cared about the entertainment aspect in the beginning, but once a cute girl appeared on the scene, it became all about making a meaningful connection.

We finally have an in-universe explanation for all the “non-title” titles we’ve been berated with to this season: Tegrity Farms, PC Babies, One for the Ladies, and The Scott Malkinson Show. In a Meta turn of events, they’re all shows within a show on the great smorgasbord of streaming services available in South Park. Hell, if they can have a Canadian service that only shows Terrance and Phillip and The Queef Sisters, then Vice-Principal Strong Woman should have a go.

Lastly, while I enjoyed Nathan selling streaming services on the corner like designer drugs, I was considerably worried when Scott gave away most of his insulin supply. Unfortunately, nobody really knows how diabetes works, so it’s impossible to predict how well Scott will cope.

South Park begins exclusively streaming on HBO Max in June 2020.