Police Looking For Dude Caught Pleasuring Himself While Watching “The Emoji Movie”

Well, the movie was shit, so what else was he gonna do?

Howell NJ police are looking for a 20-30-year-old man who reportedly was caught pleasuring himself during a showing of The Emoji Movie. Officials say a mother watching the movie with her kids caught the man seated alone in the back of a theater with his pants unzipped and his hands down his pants pleasuring himself. The woman then told the theater manager who then asked the man to leave the theater. The mother then called the police when she got home whom are now looking for him for public “lewd act”.

News12 was the first to report the story and has a makeup of the guy. Even more entertaining are the comments which claim that this is all a ploy by the Howell police persecuting the Jews. But really, I think we should be more vigilant against patrons who have spent their money on a movie about animated Emoji characters and probably everyone who bought a ticket that day at Xscape Movie Theater on Route 9 should be arrested on site.

Anyone with information is asked to call 732-938-4575 ext. 2885.