Giant Inflatable Minion Gets Loose, Creates Havoc, Signals the Apocalypse

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According to the Bible, when the end times are near, the world will be greeted with massive earthquakes, widespread famine and plagues, and a great beast will rise up on Earth to conquer the people and be worshiped.

It appears the end is nigh.

Although the mysterious frauds who wrote the “good book” didn’t actually use the word “Minion,” we can only assume that the 40-foot-tall inflatable character that broke free and roamed the countryside north of Dublin on Sunday is exactly what those old coots were talking about.

The creature was blown into roadways, halting traffic, and even taking off one driver’s side mirror. Police eventually managed to puncture the monster’s thick skin – we can only assume with a barrage of bullets in a slow-motion action sequence – bringing its reign of terror to an end.

Of course, we should know better than to drop our guard, as the Book of Revelation, chapter 13 states: “The head of the beast seemed to have a fatal wound, but the fatal wound healed,” meaning the worst is probably yet to come.

Need more proof? Well, Revelation 13:5 also said that “the beast was given a mouth to utter proud and blasphemous words.” Now where have we seen that before…?

[Story via The Journal.ie/Cover photo via @shagaway]

About Gonzo Green

@Gonzo_Green is a chronic sufferer of Pre-life Crisis Syndrome. He drinks frequently, and wears hats sometimes, with these events occasionally occurring concurrently. Gonzo also likes watching baseball, and putting ketchup on foods that ketchup has no business being on. He enjoys rock’n’roll from the 60’s, 70’s, and 80’s, when rock was rock, and meaningless repetitive phrases were frowned upon. But it is what it is.