Comics Review: The Simpsons Comics – Colossal Compendium Volume Three

 

Spoilers Below:

Alright, listen up you little freaks. Amateur hour is over. Put down your paltry reading rags because Bongo comics just dropped The Simpsons Comics – Colossal Compendium Volume Three, and it’s a doozy. Calling it a comic book would be technically accurate, but it would also render the term inaccurate in most other instances. This thing makes most comic books look like glorified brochures, and graphic novels look like little pamphlets. It has a thick glue spine, and not a staple in sign. Clocking in at almost 200 pages, it felt like I had a brick in my bag when I lugged it home from Midtown Comics. Which I suppose is a plus, since if it sucks, I can still use it as a doorstop or – in the event someone tries to jump me on the subway – to inflict sudden defensive dental work on any attackers.

There are a lot of stories in this one volume (hence “compendium”) so let’s get into it. I’m going to structure this slightly differently than my normal reviews, taking it story-by-story with a summary, best bits (as bullet points, when applicable), and a brief review for each.

“Sideshow Slob”

Sideshow Bob faked the death of Chester J. Lampwick (remember him from “The Day the Violence Died”?) in order to embezzle his fortune and use it in an elaborate plan to kill Bart via an amusement park.

• What Marge missed Homer saying while she had her headphones on: “Marge! I’ve found a faster way to barbecue pork using leftover fireworks!”
• Comic Book Guy’s comic notes are great, especially when he’s correcting himself.
• Rake! A “Cape Feare” reference!

This was an interesting story overall, as are most involving Sideshow Bob. However, in an odd twist, the plot focused more on the lead-up to Bob’s murderous plan, and less on the attempt itself. In fact, once at the amusement park, he only got a few very brief chances before he was apprehended by the bumbling authorities. It wasn’t especially funny, but it was amusing, and we had a Spider-Pig cameo! Definitely one of the strongest of the issue.

“Angry Dad in Poppin’ Mad”

A single-page, solo “Angry Dad” bit. The humor was corny and brief, but I must say I loved the sketchy animation.

“Little Monty Million$: Adventure on Bigfoot Mountain!”

A young Mr. Burns attempted to befriend some local kids (and win over his new crush), but the upper-class child failed to find common ground with his poor peers. In the end, he wasn’t troubled at all by this realization.

• “Brak!” The over-bred hound’s line was overused, but still a dandy.
• Making the apes Homer-like was a nice touch.

This was cute. It was like a Burns flashback stretched out to an entire story. Seeing Mr. Burns detached from regular folk due to his riches is a bit played out, but since he was exclusively shown as a child, it ended up being a nice change. I was a bit confused by the fact that he had a personal valet that was a distant relative of Smithers, yet not Waylon Smithers Sr., but I’ll let it go. Especially since the name “Smithersbury” tickled me in just the right place. I’ll even overlook the fact that Baby Burns bringing in ringers from the 1919 Chicago White Sox was a bit too reminiscent of “Homer at the Bat.”

“Springfield General”

A brief one-pager, like “Poppin’ Mad,” except it was set at Springfield General Hospital, and starred Dr. Hibbert and Groundskeeper Willie. Also like “Poppin’ Mad,” it had one good joke and animation that ended up being the best feature.

“Frink Sinatra!”

Professor Frink’s “Cool Juice” fell into the water supply, making all the townspeople of Springfield as suave as Rico. Frink, Lisa, and the other brainiacs then had to find an antidote and get the unwilling, newly-hip locals to actually take it.

• Frink’s best outburst: “Sweet Degrasse Tyson’s mustache!”
• Frink: “This must be very confusing for you, waking up with no memory of what happened and holding a drink. / Barney: “Actually, most of my mornings start this way!”

A reverse Nutty Professor, “Frink Sinatra” provided an entertaining story with a whole lot of science jokes. Sure, they were corny, but isn’t that what Frink is all about? I didn’t love this story, but it was definitely a unique little segment.

“The Best Radioactive Man Event Ever – Parts 1-3”

This three-part story made up the largest chunk of the volume, probably over half of it, in fact. It began with Bart, Milhouse, and Martin discussing the current state of comic books and the need for something refreshing in them. Krusty (the new publisher) and his team of executives concocted a plan to drum up hype for a new issue by promising a big change, but giving no details or leaks about it. The stunt worked, but it ended up being a mostly blank issue, and the readers felt spurned. Bart decided to make his own fan-friendly issue, and it got the attention of the publisher, who promised to go back to the good ol’ days of Radioactive Man that simply focused on stories instead of events.

“The Best Radioactive Man Event Ever” took a different approach than the usual Simpsons Comics. It focused almost exclusively on the plot, and left the jokes at the level of “general amusement” instead of going for big laughs. In fact, the only time I laughed out loud was when the two Radioactive Man clones were fighting and one yelled, “public service!” and the other, “Private sector!” Instead I found myself with a series of questions throughout it, such as:

• Is it just me, or when Bart said, “Is it just me, or does this suck?” (Radioactive Man vs. zombie) it was actually awesome?
• What are the odds that this segment’s penciller and inker actually look like the ones drawn in it?
• Why was the Simpson house missing one of the upstairs front windows?
• Why was Nelson at the TV studio? And later the publisher’s office?
• Was anyone else angry that “you’re” was misspelled on the sign for BFN?
• Why was Patty one of the crummiest people in the universe?

Despite the lack of humor, I totally see where they were going with this story. It was an obvious commentary on the history and popular opinion about comic books, in a way that applies to the real world today. It could also be applied to The Simpsons show itself or the movie industry. Regardless, this actually made for an interesting read because of the relevant topics discussed and the little tease for the fans – both in the comic and the ones reading it. In the end, it was the strongest part of the issue.

“Li’l Homer in Mean Genie”

This was a short-ish installment featuring a young Homer finding a magic lamp with a mean genie inside. No matter what Homer could think to wish for, there was always an obvious negative consequence that the genie could zap into existence. In the end, Li’l Homer wished he had never found the lamp.

• Genie: “I have abandonment issues.”

This nice little story was definitely going more for the cute element, and achieved it pretty well. Not especially funny, but fun while it lasted.

“Ralph the Role Model”

Ask and ye shall receive. I mentioned in my review for Simpsons Comics #222 (which was also released yesterday) that Ralph was better when talking about leprechauns, and here comes the fucker, returning from “My Little Wiggy.” That actually turned out to be a weak, unnecessary plot addition, but I can get past it, considering the amount of opportunities to see some Ralph Wiggum hijinks as he attempted to be a role model for a younger boy. If you are wondering about the comparison splits, there were, in fact, better lines in this one, in comparison to #222.

“Goodnight Buffoon”

This was a short spoof of Goodnight Moon. It was adorable, but it’s only real use is probably as an actual bedtime story for kids. I guess I’ll have to keep this one in my back pocket for a bit.

“The Imaginarium of Milhouse Van Houten”

Milhouse’s imagination ran wild in this story, with Bart and several other locals telling him to stop playing pretend. In the end, one of his adventures helped get Snake arrested after he robbed the Kwik-E-Mart.

• Police observation: “Aw, look. Some big guy is trying to stuff a little kid into the trunk of his car! Ain’t that cute!”

It seems like at this point in the issue, we’re getting the weaker segments humor & action-wise, instead with a lot more of the cutesy value. This is another instance of that, which was a bit of a disappointment, unless you happen to be one of the people purely into that sort of thing.

“Oh, Brother”

In the final section, while pandering to the elderly voters, Mayor Quimby declared it mandatory “Take Your Parent to Work Day.” Chaos ensued across town, resulting in Mr. Burns’ mother falling for Homer’s dad. This made Homey & Burnsey brothers, until it was revealed that Mrs. Burns was really an actress in disguise.

• The power plant’s emergency alerts went from “Warning! Meltdown! Meltdown! Evacuate immediately!” to “Abandon all hope! Meltdown!” to “Warning! Things are much worse!” to “Meltdown averted! Return to work!”
• Best family ever: “We really need to get a table just for revenge schemes.”
• Spousal love: “Wow, Marge usually has to buy my pants from the circus supply stores!”

This story fell in line with the few that preceded it, except with a bit more humor. I enjoy seeing Mr. Burns acting un-Burns-like, as well as any time Homer gets away with shenanigans. So despite the lack of obvious humor, this was still a neat little bit about family. (Speaking of family, was anyone else weirded out to see the late Rabbi Krustofski still alive?)

So, how to rate this collection of Simpsons Comics? I guess the important thing is that there were a few strong, above average installments, and no bad ones. Again, there weren’t really any duds, as the individual descriptions will show. Were there some mediocre ones? Sure, maybe even one or two too many. However, this didn’t weight the volume down, considering it was chock full of enough goodies to justify its general existence.

Was it enough to justify the $18 pricetag? Perhaps not for everyone. Dedicated Simpsons Comics fans should still welcome the new addition to their collection.