Springfield, Illinois Gives Key to City to Cobra Commander

I don’t know about all you readers, but I was raised to know right from wrong; who the good guys are, and who the bad guys are. A lot of kids might have their morals misaligned due to their overuse of video games, computers, tablets, and smartphones, and that’s just sad. Alternately, I, and people my age or older, were raised on toys, and thus can tell the difference between heroic freedom fighters and dangerous international super-terrorists.

So excuse my reaction of horror upon reading that Springfield, Illinois Mayor J. Michael Houston recently awarded the key to the city to none other than Cobra Commander himself.

Yes, this is the same Cobra Commander that cloned dinosaurs for world domination, hid miniaturized soldiers in Christmas presents, and used lasers to carve his likeness on the surface of the moon. Now he has the key to Springfield, which allows him access to every door in town so he can creep into the citizens’ homes at night and watch them sleep through his mirror-tinted helmet visor. All with the blessing and assistance of the town’s trusted, elected official.

Okay, the key is purely symbolic, and the event was staged to promote an upcoming G.I. Joe convention that Springfield is hosting in April, but aligning oneself with a terrorist organization is no joke. Unfortunately, by the time most of the townspeople realize this, it will already be too late.

But at least now they know.

And knowing is half the battle.

[via Generals Joes]