English Dub Review: Yurikuma Arashi “Never Back Down on Love”

Let this image stir in your mind for a minute while you read this review. I’ll touch on this in a second.

I forgot to mention this in the Absolute Duo review. Why do Absolute Duo and Yurikuma Arashi both have openings that are akin to movies? I’m glad to have these shows to review, but I don’t really need to be faked out by three production titles, especially since most shows have zero. Get on your game, Kadokawa Pictures, Inc.!

What’s the premise of this show? Well, it’s simple…lesbians! Well, that’s what the opening minute or so Yurikuma Arashi would like you to believe. As of three minutes in, and going through the opening, I would think I would be watching a lesbian hentai, with some story about bears. Now, Yurikuma Arashi is a show that I would expect a TV-MA rating, and if it were live action, a slot on Showtime or Cinemax.

Alright, so let’s get into the meat of the episode. Yurikuma Arashi is actually about two bears who disguise themselves as humans, so they can infiltrate the human populace and eat the humans. Apparently, the bears gained human intelligence because the planet Kumalia exploded, sending shards of the planet to Earth in something known as the Kumalia Meteor Swarm. These two are Ginko Yurishiro and Lulu Yurigasaki, and these bears eat people. They are sniffing this room, acting like this classroom is a Chinese Buffet.

So, when the bears are…well, bears, they are tiny as hell. I was expecting like at least a full sized bear, but these are small. For most of “Never Back Down on Love,” Ginko and Lulu are trying to get a meal out of Kureha, but she’s oblivious to the tiny bears. Speaking of Kureha, she’s apparently caught up in the invisible storm, but they say nothing as to what it is. All I know is that it involves people cutting down flowers or something. I don’t know.

Later on in the episode, things get interesting, because Kureha has a secret talent. She’s at her house, and she is taking down bear statues with a rifle. The next day, a student is seemingly slaughtered by a bear, and it was her friend, Sumika. After Kureha fails at an attempt to kill the bears, the writers decide to cut to Severance Court, for a Yuri trial. The only thing I can get out of this is that a bunch of furries are holding court whether Ginko and Lulu are criminals for crossing the wall. Meanwhile, in some sort of dream or fucked up nightmare, Kureha is getting a flower blowjob from Ginko and Lulu. If this isn’t your thing, stay away from Yurikuma Arashi. I honestly have no idea what is going on anymore. The only thing I caught out of the last few minutes is that Mitsuko found the bears, and pieced together that Lulu and Ginko are the ones behind it.

I think I have a threshold of insanity, and Yurikuma Arashi crossed it. I think this is a show that is more for females, because it’s a lot of furries, and a lot of lesbian undertones, with two couples introduced at the onset of “Never Back Down on Love.” Seeing as though I’ve never watched a show like Yurikuma Arashi, a lot of what could make this show great is lost on me, because I just don’t understand it. There is way too much insanity going on for me, and the bear / human / “may as well be a furry” thing that was going on in the court was just weird. I don’t understand it, and I think I just got an aneurysm. If I have to hear “growl growl” again this week, I may lose my mind.