Glenn Beck Says ‘Family Guy’ Episode About Jesus Was Worse Than Crucifixion

Glenn Beck went all banana sandwich this week while reacting to Sunday’s Family Guy, which featured Peter & the gang helping Jesus try to lose his virginity.

Initially, Beck criticized viewers who found the episode brave for taking on religion. “Let me explain something about bravery, it is not brave to do the things that the elite and the powerful agree with,” he raved in reference to the episode that he probably didn’t even watch. “That’s not bravery!”

“You want to be brave?” co-host Stu Burguiere added. “Do this about Mohammed. Do it about Allah.” Of course Family Guy won’t tackle an idea like that, because they already did it several seasons ago. And numerous times since.

He continued by claiming Jesus Christ had “done more good on Earth” than any other person in history. Except, of course, for all the people whose stories we know to actually be true.

“Every great act, every great, truly great freeing act was inspired by the teachings of Jesus Christ,” Beck asserted. Can’t argue with the guy there. I had a buddy in college who once drained half a keg in one stand and took three stippers home from the club in one night. It was pretty great. And why did he do it? Because the Bible, of course.

“Why would we take down that man? Why would we make him into a joke? Out of all of the people you can joke about, all of the things you can do?” Beck said of Jeebus. Answer: because it’s funny; a point Beck missed while concentrating on whether or not it was a brave move. This is a fucking cartoon, Glenn, not a documentary about soldiers and firefighters.

But he wasn’t finished yet, because once Beck makes a crazy statement, he always has to make another that renders the first one sane by comparison. “Why not just put him up on the pillar again,” referring to the crucifixion part of the Christ mythology. “Why not just whip him and beat him? Why not just publicly humiliate him, why not just tear his clothing from him, spit on him, and when he asks for water, we give him vinegar?” Maybe the writers wanted an original idea? Just spit-balling here; no pun intended.

Not to be outdone, Beck’s co-host added the final moronic cherry on top. “I think you could argue this is worse,” Burguiere said.

The Bible-thumping Beck readily agreed, before excusing himself to eat a live baby and cut eye holes for his newest “ghost costume.”

In related news, Mr. Beck will be doing a featured writer gig with BubbleBlabber, where he will be covering the upcoming seasons of Superjail! and Mr. Pickles.

[via Raw Story]