Shorts Review: Red vs. Blue Season 12 Episode 4

They have the knowledge, but to they have the intelligence to throw a plan together to get their friends back? Well, they at least have Felix…listening to them.

That’s the man right there, Grif. He does everything possible to ensure his subordinates do all of his work. He even uses Bitters to enhance his policy on kiss-asses. Matthews is perceived as a loose cannon, who happens to view Grif as lazy. Grif is pleased with Bitters, but is called off to a meeting with Tucker, Simmons, Caboose, and their respective team member.

It’s more of a meet and greet for the grunts to get to know each other. Starting with Lt. Smith, who finds Caboose to be one of the wisest people he has ever met, they introduce themselves, and give a  fun fact. The person Simmons picked to join was Katie Jensen, who sounds like she has a bag of marbles for a retainer. She enjoys vehicle maintenance and biology. She drops to the ground, choking on her spit. Tucker is giving him shit for picking her over the hot one. I can see why. She seems like a mouth-breather. Now watch, this one is going to be the one who accomplishes the mission.  We then get re-introduced to Bitters, who’s fun fact is that he has no fun fact. And from Tucker, we get Palumbo, slayer of women, and lurer of evil. He is the only survivor of Tucker’s team.

When Smith asks who’s the lead, of course, all of the team leads say they are. After they get nowhere, Smith comes up with a smashing idea of a vote. Everyone takes turns talking to the grunts. Simmons goes first, citing his combat skirmishes, and in-depth knowledge of Dungeons and Dragons is as good as real combat experience. Next, Caboose is using this as a presidential address, saying they will get Kool-Aid in every fountain, and the abolishment of the uniforms. Of course, Smith just eats it up, saying it’s a metaphor for the war to be over. He seems to be the only one buying it.

Next, we get Grif, who called dibs on team lead. Apparently, the dibs rule doesn’t count here, so he gives up. Finally, we get Tucker, Who tried to hit on the volleyball team, until Felix comes by, and tells them to hurry the fuck up, in his own special way. Tucker drops his shit and goes into a heartfelt speech about how shitty leadership is, but he will do anything to get his friends back. Katie snap votes for Tucker, then the rest of the follow suit. Felix, in his own special way again, suggests that the team should start training.

Ok, so I am going out there right away and saying Katie is the savior of the season, and Felix is going to flip sides on the team. Felix just seems like a mega-sized douchebag. He’s the only one with actual talent on the Republic Army. Katie, and her inability to actually swallow her own spit (yes, spit), is the perfect folly to surprise us all. Another surprise, Tucker growing a set, and becoming a leader. This season seems to be another that breaks the mold. The story seems to be taking shape, but we need more Locus!