Review: Attack on Titan “The Night of the Closing Ceremony: Humanity’s Comeback, Part 2”

It’s Graduation day! Nothing can go wrong, right? Oh shit…

The people in this show should come to the realization, really fast, that no good can come that the Titans won’t be able to smash to bits. Not for nothing, you know that something as joyous as a closing ceremony will only end in tragedy. Well, after that cheery bit of insight, here’s the episode recap.

We get another time jump in this show, two years after Eren and company join the cadets. They are marching through the muck and rain, with Armin being an unfortunate caboose. Keith takes time out to make Armin feel special, by ripping him a new asshole. Reiner Braun takes Armin’s bag, making Armin feel like a burden. So, he takes his bag back, and motors the fuck back in line. Keith goes over the different cadets, including Reiner, Annie Leonhart, Bertolt Hoover, and Jean Kerschtein. Then we see Sasha again, taking the kill away from Jean and Conny Springer. Finally, Eren and Mikasa show up.

Reiner and Eren are sparring, and Eren is contemplating why they’re sparring with knives when they go against Titans. Reiner goes to Annie, and tells her that she needs to stop slacking off, then throws Eren in front of her. He goes in, but Annie takes him out in one blow. Then does it again with the knife drill. Reiner tries, and gets knocked down as easily as Eren. Annie tells Eren how useless the drills are, because only ten people get selected, and the picks are all a crapshoot.

At the mess hall, Eren picks another fight with Jean, only to have Mikasa break it up, just to flare up again.  Eren then takes him down with one move. Eren’s balls finally drop when he calls Jean a joke. Keith comes in because he heard a ruckus, and Mikasa blames it on Sasha having gas. I can’t lie, I died laughing at that.

Out of all of the original candidates, only 218 stayed. The closing ceremonies start, with the Attack on Titan sorting hat telling everyone where they’re going. The MP cadets have already been named, so it’s down to the Garrison and Scout Teams. All of the named cadets so far were named top of the class. Eren is turning down the MP to go into the scouts, saying he was training to kill Titans, not live the good life inside the wall. He is insistent that every battle taught them a lesson, and refuses to give in. He starts to crack, and runs out, with Mikasa and Armin in tow.

Armin and Mikasa tell Eren that they’re going where he goes, with Mikasa telling him that she made a promise to Eren’s mother to not let her him die. The next day, The Scouts came back. Everyone is excited since it’s been five years since an accident. Hannes meets up with Eren and company, telling him that Eren’s mother’s death still haunts him. It turns out that Eren’s speech turned a lot of heads, including Sasha, who stole from the Royal pantry. Eren is sitting there reminiscing, when the Colossus Titan shows up behind Eren.

Of course, the Colossus blows a hole in the wall, for more Titans to march in. Eren shows some resolve, gives orders to the new recruits, and then goes head to head with the Colossus.

There was a lot of exposition in this episode, with nothing going on except for the last minute or so. We get that not many people like each other at Cadet training, but Jesus fucking Christ, do we need two full episodes of the same shit? I don’t care that Jean and Eren hate each other because there’s no respect. I got that much from last week. At least Eren showed some balls and knocked Jean on his ass this time.

I am actually digging the set up that this episode has, because Eren goes balls deep and stands toe to toe with the Colossus Titan. The last minute or so doesn’t save the other 20 minutes, because it felt like a re-tread of the last episode. The fact that it sets up another Titan attack saves the episode from total failure, Unfortunately, the rest of the episode was BORING, and the show is quickly becoming the most overrated anime I have come across.