Review: Perfect Hair Forever – “Muscular Distraction – A”

Spoilers Below!!!

Uncle Grandfather is working out and recanting a tale. As he tries to find a workout to enhance his “third muscle” we see Gerald and Action Hotdog at the foot of Tuna Mountain. They realize that this could be the culmination of their quest and just as they’re about to take their first steps the whole damn mountain explodes! Apparently Uncle Grandfather was the cause of this explosion. After revealing this fact, Uncle Grandfather laughs maniacally and starts smashing windows and breaking into cars.

The authorities arrive at Uncle Grandfather’s house and ask to come in. He refuses, yet allow the same men to enter his house when they say that they’re cable repairmen. He’s got a one end of the cable tethered to his groin and another to a cake. The cops awkwardly watch as Uncle Grandfather searches for a signal. Just then, the telephone rings and it’s Coiffio. They trade threats and argue over the $481 in back rent that Coiffio owes.

Young Man enters Gerald’s office as Gerald is reflecting on his life. He never attained perfect hair. He never got Brenda. Now Young Man is preparing for his wedding, which apparently happens in eight minutes. Gerald is asked to help make sure the room is perfect because this marriage is the culmination of Young Man’s destiny.

Coiffio is in his house constructing a large cardboard robot with his cat. He then has sex with the robot and summons it to leave. The boxes go nowhere and his cat flies away. Coiffio explains that in 15 or 20 years his cardboard robot box army will help him get out of his shitty townhouse.

Catman is beating on a door to a house that seems to be on fire. As he explains that he’s been there for about 8 years the garage door opens. Rod: The Anime God is inside listening to hip-hop. Catman explains that there have been complaints from the neighbors because of all the smoke. Rod explains that he’s an entity made of fire and that there is nothing that he can do to change that. Rod lures Catman into his garage with a flaming cat toy.

Young Man and Gerald are still in Gerald’s office. When Young Man turns his head, Gerald’s ear is attached to the back of it. This has become Young Man’s favorite ear. Gerald tells the story of how he lost the ear in a battle with Brenda to steer him away from Uncle Grandfather’s sex dungeon. Young Man says that Gerald has it all wrong. First, her name is Margret, not Brenda. Secondly, he needs the ballroom set up with wedding cakes and it’s Gerald’s job because he’s here for customer service. The sprinkler system goes off and the water in the office begins to rise. This reminds Gerald of a song so he hops inside of a mop bucket and sings. Space Ghost pops in and asks Zorak if he’s seeing all of this. They talk about how Space Ghost has been pitching shows for years, yet they’re making this shit.

Gerald is in the kitchen where he discovers Sherman has eaten all the food for the wedding. He’s still hungry so he decides he might as well eat “this hamburger rope chain I’ve been wearing.” Turns out that it’s the Transformational Covenant Of Tuna Mountain. If Gerald were to give this to Brenda she would fall in love with him and that love would prevent all future wars. Before Gerald can reach it Sherman eats it. Now Gerald must resort to plan B: Assassination.

The wedding is about to take place. Rod is dressed in his finest ceremonial garbs and will officiate the wedding. Gerald makes a few announcements, keeping people away from exploding hams, poisonous balloons, and the groom himself. Brenda begins her walk down the aisle with Uncle Grandfather sliding on the floor between her legs. As Brenda holds up a tray of burgers and Rod comments on how confusing this show is, the screen goes black, Soprano’s style, and we hear a gunshot. The credits roll as Action HotDog plays a slow tune on piano and Coiffio box monsters begin to terrorize the streets.

Well this was an interesting journey! Perfect Hair Forever has been gone for such a long time that I completely forgot how random it truly was. I’ve made mistakes in tearing down the randomness of shows (See: Apollo Gauntlet) and this time I swore that I wouldn’t let my judgment be swayed by the randomness of the writing. That said, this show was like watching someone animate the Mad-Libs of a crazy person. I’d like to hope that Adult Swim will figure out a way to finish playing the rest of the finished episodes from Perfect Hair but since it already took almost 8 years to get this episode, I’m not so sure this wasn’t more than a one-off April Fool’s joke. So let’s hope that the response of the Internet and the right amount of views prove me wrong!