Our Reax to Avril Lavigne’s ”Hello Kitty” inspired music video

 

Nope. It’s not Katy Perry. I’m not quite sure how it happened but it is Avril Lavigne dressed a little like the candy-colored Pop-Tart. Anyway, Ms. Lavigne dropped her latest music video, “Hello Kitty,” on April 23.

Click here to watch the video yourself.

The song starts off with a terrible pronunciation of “Minna saikou, arigato. Ka-ka-ka-kawaii!” In English, this becomes something like “You are the best! Thank you! C-c-c-cute!” Maybe she means “You are the cutest, thank you?” I just know it’s a bit annoying. And these clothes. Maybe Avril forgot that she’ s almost 30 years old? While I’m not saying that 30-year old women can’t wear cute clothes…I think maybe the line should be drawn at frilly pink skirts covered in 3-D cupcakes. She can’t even properly pretend to play her guitar! Stupid cupcake skirt.

Storming through the first verse, I’m pretty positive that Avril forgot that she isn’t 16 anymore. She talks about having slumber parties while her parents aren’t home and playing Spin The Bottle. Sorry. That isn’t happening these days. Also, “Let’s all slumber party like a fat kid on a pack of Smarties?” I think she’s supposed to be talking about eating a lot of junk food and getting sugar high hyper. That isn’t happening with A pack of Smarties. You need, like, at least 10 of those things.

Moving on.

There is this weird sort of pre-chorus thing where Avril is calling a kitty? I get that the song is called Hello Kitty and maybe that is who she is calling but I don’t think Hello Kitty would want any part of this.

To get the elephant out of the room: A lot of people have been claiming the video is racist against Japanese people. A lot of them refer to the emotionless background dancers. However, there are quite a few Japanese music videos with Japanese artists that have a similar look to them. No, the dancing is not good.  No, I don’t think the dancers are used to their fullest potential. But that doesn’t make it racist. That just makes it a bad video.

The actual chorus is this weird sort of electronica piece. Yay. Some more “ka-ka-ka-kawaii.” I did start off wanting to like this song. Honest.

Then we’re back to more lyrics aimed at teenagers. I wonder what Avril thought when she looked at the lyrics. I don’t think she wrote them herself. Did she look at them and say “Um, you guys know I’m 30, right?”

But, even after all that, I think the worst part of the video is the ending. It features Avril and the girls doing “Japanese” things – drinking (Korean) alcohol, eating sushi, and taking pictures. Oh My God, the girls smiled. Darn, it was only for a second.

I’m done with this. It could have been worse. To be honest, I think the biggest problem with the song is the person singing it. If this was an actual J-pop song performed by an AKB48-type act, it probably wouldn’t have been so awful. It wouldn’t have been particularly good but everything wouldn’t look so out of place. The costume, the settings, even the background dancers. All of it looks so very wrong surrounding a 30-year old woman. When Gwen Stefani did the “Yay, Japan” thing back in 2004,  she was 35. The Harajuku Girls actually had personalities. And I don’t think Gwen has ever, ever worn a 3-D cupcake skirt. Ever. If Avril was trying to get back into the spotlight, she succeeded. But if she was trying to get back her pop career, it was a flop. Big time. Sing some grown up lyrics. Maybe you’ll have a better chance.