REVIEW: CHOZEN ‘PILOT’

Warning Spoilers Below Ya Punk Ass Bietch

[Before I grace your face with all my dope word makings, I recommend you take a quick look at my previous Chozen article right here that I wrote up after interviewing the show’s talent at New York Comic Con this past year. It’s got a good amount of nuts and bolts to fill in the spots where I got lazy here. Or don’t – but then also or fuck you.]

Damn Chozen, y’all are crazy. I can’t believe the kind of language that FX has let you guys get away with, and I’m loving it. With phrases like “girl i’m gonna stretch you out tonight,” what is there not to love? This is some grown folks entertainment.

Chozen follows the path of recently un-jailed gay white rapper ChoZen on his quest for redemption (back to his former rap glory before incarceration). I’ll let you get the full run down on how this actually comes to pass on your own, because I can (bitch). Go watch the god damn show you weirdo. THIS IS MY HOUSE. I RUN THIS HOUSE. That’s really enough for you to know though – a big ole jist. We jist’in, don’t worry – it’ll be alright. Trust me bro, I know what you like.

This show features a shit ton of originality – from concept, to characters, to it’s comfortingly profane wordplay – and I just find it refreshing. Mixing shit up, keeping me on my toes, making me laugh about how beautifully crafted some of Chozen’s rape threats are – it’s just good stuff. Well, the parts of Chozen’s raps that aren’t funny aren’t … good – but it does kind of add to the whole ridiculousness of the scenarios anyway, it’s just a tad painful on the ears (as I happen to be an actual white rapper [proof]). Did you read my article that I told you to at the top of the page? If you did then you know why the raps aren’t Excalibur weaponry, if you didn’t then you dumb and I hate you braj.

I will definitely continue to tune in to Chozen and see what they have in store for us over it’s debut season – my only hope is that enough people give it a chance for it to gain some traction.

What did y’all think? Let me know in the comments below or tweet a brotha, I’d be interested to see what aspects people didn’t feel hit the mark (besides that Method Man (who plays the shows villain) isn’t writing any of the rhymes on the series – (that’s obviously a ridiculous waste of talent).

Word. Oh, by the way – don’t bother reading any other Chozen reviews from like a big newspaper or some shit, because those out of touch dinguses have no idea what they speak of. It’s just painful to try and endure. You’ve been warned. I AM THE GOD OF REVIEWS, WORSHIP NO OTHER GOD BUT ME OR GET MY LIGHTNING ON THAT ASS.