Review: Archer ‘Once Bitten’

Spoilers Below

We are in Turkmenistan ( I wonder if we run into the Turks of the Final Fantasy variety) and Cyril and Ray’s van is stuck in a ditch. Archer uses this time to take a dump but since they are in the middle of nowhere he decides to try and wipe his ass with the map but the guys thankfully stop him and ask to use a fistful of cash instead. That said, Archer eventually gets bit by a snake on his dick which I’m sure is considered irony somewhere. Meanwhile, you may ask where is Lana? Doesn’t she always go on missions like this? Yes, but as it turns out she is back at ISIS HQ because Malory was concerned about the repercussions of sending a woman of a different race or ethnicity and could compromise the blowing up of a Russian oil pipeline.

Archer begs his cohorts Ray and Cyril to suck out the poison, but somehow Mr. Checks and Balances aka Cyril knows for a fact that doesn’t work anyway so Archer just gets drunk. Ray with his newly attached bionic legs decides to try and lift the Jeep out of the sand dune, but he ends up pulling his back out.  Back at ISIS, Kreiger is trying to put together a rat wedding of which gets stopped by Malory putting him in charge of communications for the pipeline mission which seems like a moot point because Archer and Cyril don’t want to call ISIS for an extraction and eventually Archer passes out after some crocodile talk with Cyril and Ray.

Archer wakes up in almost like an Inception trance where he meets English actor James Mason of whom acts almost like one of the ghosts from the Mr. Scrooge stories when he takes Archer and shows him visions of his past life. We learn that at age 18, Archer was denied a lacrosse scholarship to Johns Hopkins after this bitch tries to hit on him then shoots him point blank. Back at ISIS, Cheryl tries explaining to Lana that the only thing she cares about is her job and its probably going to stay that way for a while.  Back in the desert, Cyril drives towards help only to hit a camel causing a bunch of Turks with guns to start questioning the trio.

Unfortunately, Archer is still in his trance this time remembering his sixth birthday where he is given a present by his real dad, a crocodile! Thankfully, Ray convinces the Turks to give them medicine in exchange for money after etching a sketching of the snake that bit Sterling.  Once Sterling gets the medicine however, he wakes up RIGHT before he was going to see who his dad was.

This latest season of Archer has been a tad underwhelming to say the least, but from the looks of it writer Adam Reed has a bunch of strands in place to give us a big climax to the season. That said, this week’s episode came off as a bit frustrating as I really thought we were going to see Archer’s dad, but instead we get stiffed. Something tells me his trances with James Mason are a one-shot deal where it probably won’t carry over into next week whereas Lana’s stay at ISIS certainly raises a few questions that could make for some interesting developments later on. Yea, this week’s episode was pretty funny, especially the crocodile scene, but the plot seems like its in neutral right now, and the viewers are all sitting there yelling at someone to step on the gas and move!

 

(8.0 out of 10)