Powerful New York mob boss Jimmy Falcone enters the Witness Protection Program and brings his family — wife Cookie, daughters Theresa and Gina, son Anthony, and Uncle Cheech — along for the adventure of a lifetime. Far from New York’s busy streets, the Falcone family arrives in the peaceful town of Oakville, where the pace is far slower and Jimmy doesn’t always get his way.

Spoilers Below

The episode opens with another reenactment, this time of how the Falcones traveled to Canada. The family packs into a caravan and Jimmy is wearing the archetypal tourist shirt, acting like it’s a vacation. Once they reach the border, they are greeted by McCool, and a case of Canadian whiskey, He then takes them to their new residence via Horse and sleigh.

While watching the Canadian news, a man is reportedly found in a river, in New York – the “home of the Jews” – and the family bets on who committed the murder, guessing from the calling cards of Jimmy’s old comrades. Meanwhile, Petey is running for student president. And obviously, Theresa steps in to show him a thing or two. She always seems to help Petey with being cool. The main lesson is “it’s not what you say, what you show”, as Theresa takes off her shirt, draws a crowd and decides to run for pres herself, using her looks like a platform.

When Jimmy’s cousin, Snake-Eyed Sammy (typical gino stereotype, with scruff, gold chains, and a tracksuit), whacked a rival in New York, he shows up at the Falcone’s door, after entering the witness protection program. He comes bearing gifts, most notably with a stun gun for little Gina. Jimmy learns he is a legend for whacking Don Gambini and reflects on a possible return to New York. Elsewhere, Sammy and Cookie reflect on their old relationship, and Sammy makes a pass on Cookie. Confused Cookie then prays to her Virgin Mary shrine, resulting in a hallucinogenic pep talk. Sammy gets so caught up in the Canadian lifestyle, he resorts to his old ways. McCool warns Jimmy to cool Sammy down; otherwise, they’ll have to relocate to Quebec. And Jimmy doesn’t want to move to Quebec, “France”.

After Sammy robs a bank, Jimmy and Uncle Cheech pull a reverse heist to return the money. Channeling Point Break, the trio pulls the reverse heist off wearing Seinfeld masks, including Jerry, George, and Kramer. After a shootout and judging by the title of the episode (“Sammy dies at the End”, taken from the Don Coscarelli Drama that recently premiered at the Toronto International Film Festival), you can probably guess where this is going. The episode takes many pokes at celebrity characters like Celine Dion, Brad Pitt and Carrot Top (easy targets).  And Jimmy still confuses the name of his town, constantly calling it “vagina”, Saskatchewan.

Score

7/10

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