REVIEW: UGLY AMERICANS “Any Given Workday”

Episode Synopsis: Randall’s powerful new arm gets him a job at the Department of Integration, which needs a ringer for a big intramural football game; and the move could send Mark to the second string. Original Air Date: Mar 21, 2012

Spoilers Below

Randall gets a new arm…and maybe a new dick, while Mark is putting together a new football team to go up against the “Goon Squad” headed up by Grimes. Twayne has a gambling habit where he drops a grand in like the first 2 minutes of the episode, so you know he isn’t sitting out this one, and as such hires a bookie to come up with some spreads. Meanwhile, Leonard wants to find true love while Callie wants to find $80,000 that can help her buy an expensive car, so they decide to buddy up and go clubbin’ down town.

Mark’s football team is rag tag bunch of degenerates that from the looks of which have never even seen a football game, most people gambling would bet against this team but Twayne puts down a million bucks for Mark’s team to pull it off. While this may seem like a terrible bet at first, a savior arrives in Randall and his new arm which is able to throw footballs like a pro. Seeing this as an opportunity for a billion dollar score, Twayne gives Randall a supervisor position so that he can be on the team, thereby making Mark real jealous that his dream job is now gone.

Meanwhile, on the streets of NYC, Callie is whoring out Leonard at about a $100/hour in an attempt to get the car, but she forgot one thing…Leonard’s kinda gross. But she soon uses this to her advantage as she opts to bring Leonard to places where fat bitches hang out like Curves where there is a higher chance of success and as a result gets her prize. During football practice, Randall gets the lead over Mark as team QB causing Mark to quit and join up with Grimes’ team with Randall’s book of plays. At first, Mark doesn’t even have a spot on the team, that is until he accidentally kills his new partner Rodriguez who was the team’s middle line backer!

On game day,  Mark gets steroided to the max and helps the Goons to the unbeatable score of 120 points. And despite the fact that Mark switches sides, the lead is too insurmountable, causing Twayne to lose a bunch of money, plus Mark loses a leg, and Randall loses his arm.

This week’s episode was soo soo funny, I even found myself rewinding the scene where Mark kills Rodriguez as I couldn’t stop cracking up. The game itself reminded me more of Waterboy, even including the slow-mo cliche’ spots that showed the ONE score Randall’s team was able to manage. Also, I won’t lie I took some notes in where to find fat chicks in plenty as a way to maybe scrounge a few bucks as times are tough.

(8.0 out of 10)