REVIEW: SOUTH PARK “CASH FOR GOLD”

Posted on March 22, 2012December 30, 2016 by CapoSandwich

Spoilers Below

“Cash For Gold” opens up with Stan’s family talking with his Grandfather at the nursing home he lives in. As the conversation progresses, his grandfather presents a gift to Stan, whom he calls “Billy” throughout the entire episode. What would be a better present to receive than a hideous “$6000” Bolo Tie. After finding out he bought it off the J&G Shopping Network (spoof of HSN), the gang gets the bright idea to pawn it at a Cash For Gold store. What do they offer them? $15. Not satisfied, they wander to the next closest Cash For Gold store, which happens to be right next door. After examining the item, this store offers them $8. Pissed off, they walk into a Taco Bell. The cashier pulls jeweler tools out from behind the counter and examines the item. He decides it is worth a whopping 6-layer burrito, then tries to jump it up to a 7-layer burrito. The gang throws a fit and leaves.
The next scene focuses on the J&G Shopping Network. It is made clear that they give a ridiculous price first then tell the viewers they are knocking it down to a still well-overpriced figure. One item they are selling is a pair of earrings that they state go for $6 million, but will knock it down to a mere $320. All the callers they take are incomprehensible senior citizens.
As the show cuts back to the gang, Cartman unveils his formula for gold, which turns out to be a load of acronyms for old people buying junk. At this point in time, Kenny clearly mumbles some F bombs through his hood, which is really the ONLY part of the episode for me that contained any type of shock value considering it was not censored in any way, shape, or form. It was semi-disappointing, because every time I watch South Park I expect more shock value than anything else.
Stan goes to visit his grandfather again to try to explain to him that nobody wants anything that he is buying off of this shopping network. The only thing that he responds with is a story about his old dog, “Patches”. The scene then cuts and we see Cartman trying to start his own Cash For Gold business.
At this point, Stan is pretty livid about this whole situation and calls up the J&G Shopping Network. He just keeps telling the host to kill himself over and over. I found this part one of the funnier areas of the show, because the host started trying to negotiate prices for a lawsuit that could occur because of the suicide. Stan was very adamant throughout the scene and every one of his rebuttals was “kill yourself”. Included in this scene was South Park’s classic satirical style of comedy of exposing the viewers to how these home shopping networks make the most money on days senior citizens collect their social security checks.
Cartman now has his own TV show somehow called “Old People’s Shopping Network”. He ends up in an jewelry store where the Asians in there try to rip him off the same way that he is trying to rip off the senior citizens. The gang finds out that these pieces of jewelry are being shipped in from India. Cartman and Butters end up in India where they walk into a factory using children as slaves to make these pieces of television jewelry. As they walk in, they see Stan, Kyle, and Kenny trying to find out where this atrocity is beginning. As they come together,a montage of scenes begins that shows this “circle of life”. The jewelry starts in India, where it is made, makes it’s way to America, where it is sold on TV, bought by senior citizens, given to grandchildren, pawned, smelted down, and returned to India where the cycle repeats.
As the episode comes to a close, Stan is seen sitting on a park bench with his Grandfather. Stan hands him a present this time; a picture of his grandfather with Patches. His grandfather thanks him and then tells him that he doesn’t know where he got his necklace from, but it’s gay as f*ck.
The last scene consists of a group of senior citizens repeatedly calling up the J&G Network and telling the host to kill himself. *Not-so-spoiler alert*: He does. I guess he had to, because Kenny never died.

This for me wasn’t the BEST episode I have ever seen, but it did have it’s moments. ONE thumb up from me.