English Dub Review: Yurikuma Arashi “I Will Never Forgive You”

So, after last week’s review, I did a bit of research about Yurikuma Arashi, more specifically, about the title. Now, anyone who’s played Tekken before, know’s Kuma is the bear’s name from the series. So, that part was easy to figure out. However, what the fuck does yuri mean? Well, that’s the “interesting” part. Remember how it seemed that there were only girls, and they seemed like they were all fucking each other? Well, yuri is a particular genre of anime that is all about what Eric Bischoff coined “hot lesbian action.” Problem is, there isn’t much hot lesbian action going on.

It’s sad that I had to take this Pokemon gif to prove my point, but I digress. I’m trying to take this into context of the show, but suspension of disbelief only goes so far here. If there was a bear that was no bigger than my foot, even my four year old cousin would be able to kick it.

Thank god Kureha is a thing on this show, because she’s the only character willing to take up a gun and go mini-bear hunting. Yeah, most of the girls fit the “I can’t do anything because I have a vagina” anime stereotype. Kureha is going to be the “protagonist…?” of the show, and we need something and soon.

Now, if last week was softcore porn, this week was a shovel to the face with the lesbian tones. I get that every single female is a lesbian, and the women took over the world in what could only have been an Amazoness-like overtaking, but I’m not retarded, and I’m sure most of the people who are into this type of shows aren’t either. I don’t need the shovel to the face everytime that a female interacts with another female. I’m pretty sure that these students can screw right in the middle of the classroom, and no one would bat an eye. On top of all of this, we have to see the Yuri Court again? This made zero sense the first time, and going back over it again added nothing to me understanding what the hell is going on. And we revisit the stupid flower blowjob scene that happened last week, with nothing added again. And to finish this thought, is everyone on this show a fucking bear that can change to a human again?

This type of show is not entertaining to me, and I am kind of surprised that Funimation put this out. I get that they want to reach all types of audiences, but this? I’m not happy with Yurikuma Arashi. Yuri anime is not my thing, and I fail to see what the appeal is. It makes no sense, because the forefront of this anime genre is to put lesbian sex with no meaning in front of a plot. I have nothing for this, and I think my aneurysm is coming back.