Review: The Simpsons “The Nightmare After Krustmas”

The last episode of The Simpsons for the year, how did it fair?

Spoilers Below

Attendance is distressingly low during advent at the First Church of Springfield, which puts the pressure on Rev. Lovejoy to fill his conversion quota, which has been decidedly in the red of late. (Hey, this storyline is similar to a recent Simpsons Comics outing!) He heads out to find some souls he thinks may be amenable but only finds resistance. Apu’s attitude (“Our nonsense is so much better than your nonsense”) is a pretty good argument for religious tolerance. But as fate would have it, Krusty is at a particularly low point, making him vulnerable to the lure of Christianity. I suppose Krusty is always at a low point, so it is a specific type of low that lets him hear Jesus in this case.

It happens to be Krusty’s week with his daughter Sophie (Natasha Lyonne), who is not so hip to her dad’s Yiddish, as her mom has been raising her Christian. But since the holidays are for everybody, they decide to spend it together at the Simpsons’ after Marge invites them. But of course Krusty botches that by filming his typically opportunistic Christmas special at Evergreen Terrace. So when Lovejoy comes a-calling, he sees a chance to make it up to her.

Krusty’s newfound knowledge of Christ gets baked right into his show, especially Itchy and Scratchy, whose raison d’être is now spouting Scripture. (Also for some reason, Poochie stops by.) This alienates his loyal audience (i.e., Bart), but it does provide a potential in with Sophie.

Alas, the conversion is not complete without Baptism, which Lovejoy is pressured into immediately despite the icy conditions of available water. So Krusty nearly drowns and receives a near-death experience visit from his father, and then because there is so much going on, it has to be quickly wrapped up and summarized with a Christmas carol parody montage, but at least the reconciliation with Sophie is confirmed and earned.

The Simpsons can come alive around Christmas, or “Krustmas” in this case, as this episode confirms that the show still has plenty relevant to say about the holiday. However, it is not quite a classic because the focus is never clear. Is this a Lovejoy episode or a Krustofsky episode? For a few minutes, it threatens to become a Bart outing. I prefer when The Simpsons has an excess rather than a dearth of plot, so the failures here are noble. Plus, Krusty’s pathetic excesses are at peak hilarity but also tempered by genuine familial connection.

Maggie gets her own little side action as she faces off against Elf on the Shelf stand-in “Gnome in Your Home.” She is terrorized by the little piece of Big Brother in her room, and she finds a weapon in the paper trimmer that Homer has given Marge. Leaving the gnome’s tattered remains in her parents’ bed is an appropriately dark conclusion. Even the sight gag that makes it look like Santa’s Little Helper has been beheaded is so twisted that I am actually amused by the threat of a doggie dying on Christmas.

Memorable Lines and Random Jazz:

-The winner of the Pagan Winter Carnival Sign Gag Contest is … “Ba’al Pit”!

-“Is this science or garbage?” “Dutch art.”

-“The piece is built for the polite breezes of Europe!”

-“I usually curl up with a good bookmaker.”

-“Can we bring anything?” “Just yourself.” “That’ll cost you.”

-“Warning: Contains treasonous statements.”

-“If he was gonna convert, why didn’t he pick a funny religion?”

-“You got to get his soul and his bank router number on auto-pay.”

-“Be careful of the current.” “Don’t worry, I haven’t been current in years.” Your puns will always be current to me, Krusty.