Review: Son of Zorn “Defender of Teen Love”

Let your heart open the door to this review.

Spoilers Below

As Son of Zorn attempts to settle into a groove that can last an entire series, Zorn himself works on the mundane details of Orange County life. He assists Alangulon with the wooing of a lady, he is forced to clean out his stuff from Edie’s garage, and he struggles to make his first sale at the office. (When I say “mundane,” let me be clear that I am speaking from Zorn’s point of view. These experiences are admittedly not atypical for suburbanites, but they are a big deal for the people experiencing them.) Meanwhile, Craig’s unique teaching methods are revealed.

Let’s start off with the action that Zorn is actually excited about and that lends this episode its title. Alan’s crush on Nancy the “elfish, waifish, Asian maiden” (in the hands of a lesser actor, that phrase would grow tiresome, but out of Jason Sudeikis’ mouth, it sounds perfectly natural) is no secret, which is unfortunate because he would rather his dad not get involved. But when Zorn’s bizarre advice (offer corn nuts) turns out to be right on, Alan rethinks his stance.

While Zorn is generally clueless, he does know what to do if the task at hand is something he cares about. And getting his son laid is something he very much cares about. But actually understanding the fairer sex? Not so much. So he takes a shortcut afforded him by Zephyrian technology. The Stone of Sight is a sort of virtual reality headset that allows its user to slip into the perspective of another person. It is how Zorn knows all the juicy details about Nancy, and it is also what he uses to pathetically spy on Edie and Craig in the hopes of uncovering some trouble in paradise.

The Stone of Sight is dangerous both ethically and narratively. The omniscience it grants Zorn – or anyone potentially – could make plots fall apart insofar as it would remove all secrets. So much of what makes for a successful sitcom is the strategic tension between concealing the truth and revealing it at just the right moment.

Son of Zorn is currently reminiscent of the early episodes of the short-lived aliens-in-suburbia sitcom The Neighbors, during which the powers of the extraterrestrials were too extensive and ill-defined. The Stone of Sight could be a reliable driver of conflict, and I am glad that it has not been destroyed completely, but this show ought to set some hard and fast rules about what Zorn is capable of. Also, does Zorn even need the Stone? Once its use is forbidden, he resorts to good old-fashioned detective work, which he is at least halfway capable at.

This is a busy episode, because in addition to all that, Zorn is in danger of losing his job, as he has yet to make his first sale. The fact that this has less to do with disinterest and more distraction by the things that matter makes it easier to root for Zorn. It is satisfying that his first sale comes through actually opening up and getting real with Craig. Vulnerability is key to making a buffoon likeable. Of course, this is undercut by the fact that Zorn wants the bulk soap dispenser order to sow discord between Craig and Edie. But Craig is too good a guy, as he justifies the purchase in a way that makes both him and Zorn look good.

Just as Craig is once again the most upstanding character, Tim Meadows is once again the cast MVP. The explanation of his grading system is ludicrous (it’s not a grading system at all, but a “P7” is like an A-, and then somehow a “P8” is like a C), but he applies it with conviction. The entire show needs to follow that example. Son of Zorn can be as weird as it wants to be, but it needs to more clearly and consistently define that weirdness.

Memorable Lines and Other Stones of Insight:

– François Chau appears briefly as Nancy’s dad (he’s Cambodian, not Vietnamese). It is always a delight to behold the otherworldly qualities of Lost’s Dr. Marvin Candle.

-A sample of Alan’s flirtation style: “Water.” “What?” “I just said ‘water.’” “Yeah, that’s what it is.” “Water, water, lots of drops to drink.”