Review: Sex Swing “Welcome to the Clam Jam”

Let’s rock!

Spoilers Below

Sex Swing gets dirtier and even more overtly – and pointlessly – offensive in episode 5, “Welcome to the Clam Jam.”

The show opens with the band signing photographs, moving from one to the next, with each also taking a turn in their bizarre conversation.

“It’s not that simple, the feminine flower is beautiful and delicate,” says Spunky. But Tommy says that actually “Women aren’t flowers, women are weapons; just make sure you keep the safety off.” He passes the photograph to Jamez, the band’s womanizer in residency, who says “Oh don’t worry about that mate, I always use protection most of the time.” He passes the photograph to Schling who says something relatively stupid, as always, and then throws the photograph into the trash.

Meanwhile, Jamez gets onto the table and gropes his package, while the frame zoom outs to show them beside two “cookie scouts” looking dismayed. Honestly, I don’t know why Sex Swing bothers with this. It’s not funny. It’s sad.

Back at the house, Tommy is so mad he could eat glass, and does. The cause of his anger is the success of another of the band’s rivals. Clearly, success is once again on the mind of the band and manager since Maxx appears and tells them that the only way to achieve popularity is to gain the appreciation of a demographic that has eluded the band for decades — “Kind-hearted, tough-as-nails women.”

Maxx’s new plan, have the band play at Coachella, one of the pre-eminent music festivals of the country. Maxx, however, because of the internet, thinks that all the performers need to be women. He convinces the band to don prosthetic “faux ginas.”

At Coachella, the band rocks out hard. Backstage, they spot another all-male rival band attempting to pull the same ruse. Spunky falls in love with a lady “more Sid than Nancy.” Jamez coaches him on the finer points of the pickup game. Sppunky’s attempt to woo her peak just as Tommy and Schling’s efforts to try to expose their rivals comes to a head, and chaos ensues which, in the end, undoes them all.


The funniest part of the episode is when Spunky falls in love. And that is probably my sentiment talking. Still, that redeems it somewhat from the otherwise not so inventive happenings elsewhere in the plot.