Yeah, normally I talk about how networks ruin cartoons, or how technology needs to change. Well, today, we have something more of a broad stroke. The Academy Awards were this past weekend, and people won moronic statues, much like every other award shows. The differences are the names of the douches that win those statues, and what naked Roman or shape is on the award. You would think that the group that is in charge have actually seen the nominees, like the ESPN audience when it votes for ESPY winners. Come on, we all know that they don’t. It’s a LeBron James jerk off hour. You would think that the ones that have some credit, like the Academy Awards, the Grammys, or whatever other award, would have every nominee actually reviewed. Shit, we do it for our year end awards.
Ok, ok, we’re going to get back on the Academy Awards. A friend of mine regards them like most normal thinking people would the Super Bowl. I’ve been known to regards some things as high as the Super Bowl. You know, things like competitions. What the Academy Awards boil down to is what over inflated ego is wearing what over price piece of fabric. The awards show is supposed to be about the awards. I don’t care about what asshole designer that Jennifer Lawrence is wearing, or what that walking botox shot Joan Rivers thinks about said designer. She can eat a big bowl of shit.
Anyway, here’s the real dilemma. Scott Feinberg did a series on The Hollywood Reporter going into the Oscars, where it published the blunt reviews of five member of the Academy Awards review committee. The name of the game is the name, my friends. This is a name-driven award show, so if you have nothing to go on, the people who pick the nominees don’t give a shit. Everything wrong with awards shows just so happens to be in the following excerpts:
These screen caps kind of sums up what I have had to say before. The more we look at it, the more we see what’s wrong with the awards. The whole reason these people give out awards, is because they are the most knowing people in the industry. What asshole puts, “I agree with everyone else, Frozen was a very special film,” or my personal favorite, “I have seen none of them.” You’re supposed to be the guys who drive the industry. You make the new it people. If this is a common occurance, why are they still on this?
One big problem here is that no one here gave a reason, in terms of quality, why or why not they voted. Sure, you get the generic it was good and it was bad, and the “I didn’t see it.” If they have to give explanations, how about we get explanations? And on top of that, how about we get people who watch movies to do it? This is as good as Jethro Tull winning the Best Metal Grammy in 1988 over One by Metallica. Way to go, Grammy committee.
And to top it off, Frozen was the same fucking Disney Princess story that they have regurgitated since 1939. Yes, 74 years of the same story. I don’t condone anime very often, except Space Dandy, but the clear winner was The Wind Rises. The animation was above and beyond anything Ghibli put out prior, and the writing was fantastic. Granted, it was the same mind fuck that most Ghibli movies are, but you love it. Oh, and one more thing for you guys to chew on. Ratatouille won for Best Animated Feature as well. So, the next time you say it’s a shit movie, remember that nugget.
This is why no one should watch this shit anymore. The people who pick the winners obviously don’t give a shit, so why should we? We spend more time getting the dresses and makeup of these people shoved down our throats than we do actually seeing the better movie getting an award. The oddity of it all is that the awards that don’t get a lot of screen time, or none at all. Fuck the Academy Awards, and fuck awards in general.