Shorts Review: Red vs. Blue ‘You Better Watch Out’

RvB S13E9

Spoilers Below:

Oh, yeah, I totally remember what Red vs. Blue was about two weeks ago. I know it like the back of my hand. The Reds and the Blues were…(looks at notes)…preparing for an upcoming battle against Locus & Felix…and also exploring a weird gateway.

See, no problem?

This week began with the alien AI, “Santa,” explaining to Tucker, Caboose, Church, Carolina, and Dr. Grey that Chorus once held some of the most important treasures of his creators, left behind in the temples for future generations & species to discover. Tucker previously unlocked the Temple of Arms, giving him weaponry and vehicles, and just a small portion of what the planet & its former inhabitants have to offer. However, the planet is protected, and another key is needed to unlock the rest of it – which includes Temples of Weather Manipulation, Bountiful Harvest, Interior Decorating, Procreation, and Communication.

Realizing they only need the powerful communicator (and thus not all the weapons), the crew set off under the warning that the keys cannot fall into the wrong hands, and that Tucker will retain his until his death with the option of purging all life on Chorus if need be. Before they could even leave, it was revealed that Sharkface & the bad guys had been listening in the entire time.

Meanwhile, at Crash Site Alpha, the bad guys and good guys converged, while Sharkface informed Locus & Felix that he was en route to the Purge Key. Felix joined him, requesting that when Locus kills Kimball, he does it quick, as they used to be friends.

Kimball then phoned Doyle for reinforcements, but Carolina also called asking for the same reinforcements, stating that she needs the soldiers more as she is currently headed toward “the key that is going to end the world.”

In Case You Missed It:

1) Tucker wondered if the treasure was real, physical treasure, or just “stupid metaphorical stuff, like, ‘The real treasure was friendship the whole time.’”

2) The reason for two great keys, according to Caboose: “In case you lock one in your car.”

3) The purpose of the Temple of Procreation: “Activating this temple will throw the inhabitants of Chorus into a ravenous sexual frenzy with the intent to increase the potentially-dwindling population.”

4) The polka music returned in the Crash Site Alpha scene!

Last episode, I lamented the fact that the plot didn’t progress much, but a lot still happened. This week the former was still true, but the latter sadly was not.

Don’t get me wrong, this was in no way a dud. In fact, it now seems we’re finally on the cusp of a huge battle, which is a lot to look forward to considering we’re only at the mid-season mark. The show could still drag it on for another week or two, but I’m optimistic that real action is right around the corner.

I have my slight doubts, because I could have said the same thing last time. After Wash’s pep talk, it seemed that the fighting was imminent, yet here we are again and all we got to see was a couple of douches getting run over by a Sarge-driven vehicle.

But we found out more about the AI and his creator, we learned about the temples & keys, and the two sides converged – so that counts for something.

Still, there wasn’t enough humor to make up for the lack of action or progression, and vice-versa, so I felt a bit gypped. But only a bit. I think it’s possibly due to the fact that I, as a fan, would expect a more substantial event after an extra week of waiting. A big showing next week can do a lot to remedy this slight disappointment.

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Gonzo Green

@Gonzo_Green is a chronic sufferer of Pre-life Crisis Syndrome. He drinks frequently, and wears hats sometimes, with these events occasionally occurring concurrently. Gonzo also likes watching baseball, and putting ketchup on foods that ketchup has no business being on. He enjoys rock’n’roll from the 60’s, 70’s, and 80’s, when rock was rock, and meaningless repetitive phrases were frowned upon. But it is what it is.

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