Poland Town Bans Winnie The Pooh for Being A Pants-less Hermaphrodite

After a recent condemnation of Paddington in England for possible obscenity, the town of Tuszyn, Poland has shown it takes even more of a no-nonsense approach when it comes to bears, banning Winnie the Pooh and his “dubious sexuality.”

This comes in response to a town park that unsuccessfully attempted to use Pooh Bear as a mascot for its playground.

But like Paddington, Pooh’s shirt-but-no-pants wardrobe was questioned and deemed inappropriate for potential visiting children by the Tuszyn town council.

“The problem with that bear is it doesn’t have a complete wardrobe,” council member Ryszard Cichy said. “It is half naked, which is wholly inappropriate for children.” They did not specify if the ruling extends to other cartoon animals, or whether it would be acceptable for just the top half to be naked instead. Think normal, pants-less Donald Duck versus the post-shower, towel-waisted Donald.

An additional council member suggested that Pooh “doesn’t wear underpants because it doesn’t have a sex,” asserting Pooh is a “hermaphrodite” – a statement that makes no sense for anyone with an understanding of the word’s definition. Logically, the next step for the council was to address the topic of castration.

Pooh couldn’t be reached for comment, but close friends reveal he has called the whole ordeal quite a “bother,” and is drowning his sorrows in a pot of honey.

Tuszyn is reportedly also looking into banning the Grateful Dead bear for “suspicion of being under the influence of drugs” and Yogi Bear for “multiple counts of felony theft.”

There’s also no word on whether or not the town plans to prance around the forest slapping clothes on the various animal inhabitants, none of whom reportedly wear pants.

[via The Washington Post]