Review: King Star King “Springtime in the Gigantiverse”

Spoilers Below

It’s Spring Break in the Gigantiverse! That of course means flying the waffle shack to an island retreat filled with the customary bouncing alien babes. King apparently needs to consume everything and turn into Jabba the Hutt so that he can power up or something. Pooza excitedly finds the alien chick with the most boobs and goes to town on her mammaries. Gerbles does whatever it is that giant furry versions of Meatwad do. This leaves Hank to sulk about because love is in the air and as usual, he’s not getting any.

As King invites three alien broads to dance inside his stomach, Hank notices some unruly surfer boys vandalize the waffle restaurant. One of them throws a penis-shaped bong through a window like a Molotov cocktail, causing the restaurant to burst into flames. Hank intends to teach these hooligans a lesson. But when his gun fails, they turn the tables on him and he runs away like the cowardly stack of waffles that he is.

Luckily, Hank is saved by a large breasted woman with a hamburger for a head. She calls herself the Burger Bitch. Hank grovels at her feet, revealing that he has a foot fetish. The Burger Bitch has a fetish of her own. She has a thing for cowards, and Hank takes the syrup. Realizing that he will never do better, Hank melts into a cowardly puddle of goo and asks the Burger Bitch to be his McBride.

Other than Pooza having to extract the ring from Gerbles’ insides, the wedding goes off without a hitch. That is until the Burger Bitch reveals that she is already married to the dastardly criminal, Carmine Excremente, the Baby Muncher. With the power invested in King, he declares the Burger Bitch divorced and remarries her to Hank. But instead of being joyed, Hank goes into full cowardice mode as he fears for his life. His dollar menu bride reassures him that her ex is safely locked up in prison.

Naturally, today happens to be the day that Carmine Excremente breaks out of prison. He is essentially a flying hamburger demon with treads and snake arms. And he is more than pissed that someone has been tagging his wife. Carmine finds Hank and proceeds to make a meal out of the waffle-headed coward. Just as Hank is about to be destroyed, King emerges from his slimy cocoon just in time to smack some sense into Carmine.

With the tables turned, Hank gathers his balls and lays the smack down on Carmine, who now begs for his life. The Burger Bitch sees how cowardly Carmine is now and she can’t keep her buns under control. She becomes sympathetic toward her ex, and the Burgers are reunited. Hank is left all alone to contemplate about what a loser he is.

Sex, drugs, and rock & roll. That seems to be the spirit behind King Star King. Where the creators come up with some of this stuff is beyond me. This episode was nice in that it focused more on Hank and the strange love triangle that he found himself in. Hank doesn’t get enough lady action, despite all the bouncing alien bimbos in almost every scene. Drug usage in this show is pretty interesting with bongs made out of aliens or dildos, random pot leaves on the floor, and various strange substances that King ingests. I would like to see a little more of Pooza and Gerbles though. With all the tits and ass bouncing around in every episode, I have to wonder just how perverted the creators really are. What must their mothers think of this show?