Special Review: Big Time Rush ‘Big Time Cartoon’

You guys walked into the wrong yard.

So, I’ve come to a startling realization. No matter how many churches are built, no matter how many prayers there are, no matter how many books are written on the matter, I have come to learn one thing…there is no God. Want proof? This piece of shit show. Someone had the presence of mind to follow the route of Hannah Montana and make a television show about the life and times of being in a touring boy band. The main difference between the two shows is that Miley Cyrus grew up to be hot. For Big Time Rush?? Well, I have a theory…

I’m going to set the table for you kids whom are still young and impressionable. Members of the band, Big Time Rush?? Every one of them will probably end up with some sort of a disastrous end to their lives. You name it and I’ve seen it. From drugs and murder to booze and self-inflicted gun shot wounds…mark my words these Big Time Rush kids will probably fuck up somewhere. And you know what’s going to happen? One of them are going to try and Google their names, only to find one single article left in existence written about them…and it’s gonna be MINE! And when that happens I want whichever band member is reading this to know two things…1) your big shit kicking cartoon episode episode gets a 0 out of 10 which is the first time we’ve ever done that and that’s despite the fact that Butch Hartman is friend of the site and tried his best to bail you it.  And 2) this song’s for you…