These ‘Bebop and Rocksteady’ action figures make me angry

IGN.com recently posted first-looks at Bebop and Rocksteady toys coming soon, and it gave me JUST the amount of energy I was looking for to tee of on this fucking show.

Look, Cybertron is absolutely convinced that Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is probably one of the better shows on Nickelodeon, but he definitely brings up points from time to time to show some of the leniency that the producers of the series takes when it comes to the characters, especially when you compare some of these characters to their 1987 cartoon and comic book counterparts. Unfortunately, no matter how much Cybertron has tried to talk me into liking TMNT (2014) ‘s version of Bebop and Rocksteady, it just never works. As a matter of fact, we were LITERALLY at Buffalo Wild Wings just a couple of weeks ago having this very same conversation, and I still didn’t come away convinced. It could’ve been the wings, but I just couldn’t buy this era of Bebop & Rocksteady. Here’s why:

Are you producers insane? Seriously…it’s not even close. This latest representation of Bebop and Rocksteady is the shittiest shit I’ve ever seen. You take away Bebop’s chainsaw, and turn him into a character from Star Wars Rebels, and then you take the bulking brick house of a Rocksteady, and turn him into a fat fuck that even makes Paul Giamatti think, ‘That’s not a Rhino!”

Where’s the army fatigue? Where’s the obvious similarities to 80s action stars? What’s next? Tokka and Rahzar as Pokemon? Get this fucking shit out of here! This is just as bad as the movie’s bastardization of Shredder, and moreover, maybe even worse than Ultimate Spider-Man’s ruining of the beautiful symbiote mythos.

This shit’s depressing, I’m going to go take some meds and lie down, and hope I dreamed this, because this is worse than a hanging.