REVIEW: CHOZEN “The Battle of Broken Spear”

Threeeeeeee wayyyyy
Threeeeeeee wayyyyy

WARNING: THE DRAMA KING IS IN THE BUILDING

WARNING: THE DRAMA KING IS IN THE BUILDING

Who gets this hip-hop reference? Comment below and you’re getting a shout out in my next review. God dammit you’ve earned it.

WARNING: SPOILERS BELOW (really)

This finale definitely felt like a finale – kudos on that Chozen team. If there’s one thing that irks me it’s when a season finale doesn’t have that ‘oomph’ that a finale should. Like POW POW POW (all up in/on/around dat ass). Ya smell me? Just smell it. SMELL THAT SHIT BROTHA.

Let’s talk ’bout this episode. Let’s talk plot? Sure, let’s talk plot.

PLOT. So on this last installment of season one, Chozen and the gang are set to perform at a music festival aka the big time aka hip-hop-hooray-ho-hey-ho that happens to be headlined by their arch nemesis Phantasm. Basically the episode revolves around two sub-plots: Chozen getting over his fear-of-failure on stage and Troy trying to protect Chozen’s beats from Phantasm and his henchman. Eventually there’s a non-hilarious rap battle. How does it end? Don’t be a lazy bitch, go watch that shit. I’m not gonna give up dem goods like dat. You really wanna know? Tweet at me fool.

What did I think? Well thanks for asking, you really care don’t you? Just between us, you’re my number one fan – NO NOT YOU RAUL, FUCK YOU RAUL.

Anyway. Thoughts.

It was aite. There was a few quick lines that were funny but overall it didn’t blow my mind. The real beef I had with this episode was the rap battle. The actual animal style during the battle was great – but the content of the raps were like – not. For anyone to care about Chozen’s raps they’ve GOT to be entertaining, any attempt he makes to be a ‘real’ (serious) rapper is just going to fall on deaf ears. So when this battle attempted to mock a real rap battle it was just boring. Know what i’m sayin? Like, people aren’t watching this show (most likely) to enjoy actual rapping, it’s a comedy. Additionally, the fact that the actual voice of Chozen (Bobby) isn’t doing his rapping is just irking me into infinity. Why? THE HUMANITY. I don’t get it. Oh well. That’s all I’ve got to say bout dat.

Season one in the can. It was quite the ride. I’m ready for season two, let’s do this thing.

SIGNING OUT, YOUR PAL, FUCK YOU.

number-solid-8-204x204