Suicidal Attention Whore Chicken-
Wedding season is a beautiful time. Warm air caresses your skin as you sit in an awkwardly uncomfortable folding chair outside, trying not to make a sound loud enough to disrupt the service. Then a chicken walks in with a gun…
The chicken is a disgruntled ex of the bride and is willing to blow his brains out to prove his love. The bride tries to diffuse the situation by stating her love for the chicken in a friendly sort of way, but the chicken changes his tune from pistol to Cobain-style shotgun after this friendzoning news. The priest faints as the bride scrambles for the right words to say. After another compliment/threat combination from the bride, the chicken pulls out the gas can in an effort to light himself on fire. The bride pleads and says she can’t live without the chicken. Apparently that’s all she had to say because the chicken just wanted her to admit it in front of her entire wedding. Having won the battle, the chicken walks out like a pimp and the bride vows revenge.
Ricky The Rocketship-
Take the naïve cuteness of Disney animation and let someone who’s really into dark comedy pen the script. Dash in an extremely small and unintentional “Achilles” reference that probably only made me laugh and you’ve only begun to scratch the lunar surface of Ricky The Rocketship…
Ricky lands in a field and offers to bring the kids on an adventure to the moon! Sadly he only has room for 6 kids so he offers the other 2 a rope and a chance to hold on. As Ricky blasts off, the rope children are burnt to a cinder. Ricky tears across space when one little boy asks if Ricky comes equip with oxygen. Ricky’s never heard of oxygen because he’s built with “magic and science.” As Ricky opens his door after a successful moon landing, 6 small corpses breach the gravity and float out as we go to commercial.
After a few sketches we head back to the moon and see Ricky beginning to cover the space grave the children will be entombed in. Ricky begins to lose his cool as we head off to a different sketch.
Coupled with the call in sketch this show scores a solid…
Jeff And Some Aliens-
Jeff gets a phone call with some terrible news. His mom has terminal cancer. Thankfully, the alien’s semen has a cancer curing quality to it. They propose that they should save Jeff’s mom the only way they know how! Jeff disguises the aliens as tribal healers and describes to his mother that they need to be inside of her to help. So the aliens take Jeff’s mom to pound town. As the aliens triumphantly leave the room they are full of pride after having finally cured Jeff’s mom’s canker sores. Jeff loses his mind and reminds the aliens that she has cancer, not canker sores. The aliens say they can cure that too, but only through a triple fisting. After the sexual encounter his mother just endured, Jeff is full of rage as the aliens head back into the room for another round. Jeff follows to stop them, but the aliens are standing around Jeff’s mother similarly to the Wonder Twins activating their powers. The cancer is cured.
“420”, “Murder For A Toaster”, “Killer Bees”, “Nice Ass”, “Boot$#!+ McGillicuddy”, “The Tell-Tale Hare”, “Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes”, ”Weird Hippo Riding A Mechanical Bull”, “Tournament Of Fighting Styles”, “Birds And The Bees”, “The Last Dead Unicorn”
Hot Dog Lady, Headless Helicopter Lady, Old English Ex-girlfriend, Cpl. Angry, Ricky The Rocketship Calls In And Loses His Cool, Maintenance man pitches a sketch
Sketch Of The Night-
The Tell- Tale Hare
Sketch To Skip-
Weird Hippo Riding A Mechanical Bull