Review: The Simpsons “Crystal Blue-Haired Persuasion”

And that’s a wrap on The Simpsons monumental 30th season!


Mr. Burns decides to cut all child benefits for employees at the plant. Homer and Marge debate their options which leads to them reducing costs on the kid’s medications. Marge is worried about Bart’s overactive behaviour and decides to try healing crystals to help him. The metaphysical treatment has a surprising impact on Bart’s energy.

When Marge ends up with a significant inventory of crystals, she begins selling them and making a profit and manages to build a business. When she is bullied by competitors, Marge doesn’t back down and expands her company. However, Lisa discovers that Bart’s good grades had nothing to do with the crystals. After Bart owns up Marge’s business falls apart.


Our Take:

It is a massive night for the show that has grown beside us for 30 years. This 30th season finale is a testament to a brilliant sitcom idea that has been driven by talented creators and eccentric characters. Long-time showrunner (and I mean a long time, record-breaking even) Al Jean sent out a tweet today in celebration alongside the joke that they were halfway there. With The Simpsons still relevant today, and holding on to a devoted fanbase, there is no reason why this series won’t be around until we are all retired.

Beyond just putting together a monumental television run, The Simpsons have even more reason to celebrate. As May 12 happens to be the birthdate of one of the star characters. Homer J. Simpson was born on this day in 1956. This would put Homer himself into retirement age, something he was furious at Ned Flanders for seasons ago. Happy birthday Homer, a character many of us could not imagine a world without.


Finally, how could we forget that today happens to be Mother’s Day? Thank you all you moms out there who let us watch and grow with these cartoons. Anyways, The Simpsons seemed to have planned this Mothers Day long in advance by scheduling in this Marge focused story for the end of the year. There is a lot in this episode that features the resourceful, respectful, and ever-loving mother. And, to top it off Bart has a flashback montage of all the fantastic things that Marge has done for him through his life.

With all of those things colliding in one evening, hopes are high that this episode holds up. It was an out-of-the-box thing for The Simpsons to approach, crystal healing. The new age medicine is something that would seem entirely out of The Simpsons territory. However, the show managed to pull off an entertaining look at the metaphysical market without being (too) offensive. Though, you would expect it to be Lisa Simpson that would be heading the adoration for rocks and gems.

Lisa has always been the most open-minded and worldly of the family. Crystal healing would be something that you would even expect to be part of the young girl’s repertoire. Yet for some reason in this episode, it is Lisa who is the most skeptical. Homer plays ignorant to wherever the money comes from and takes the role of the trophy husband, while Bart uses his mom’s new hobby to his advantage. Leaving Lisa to always spoil a good thing for everyone. The modern girl could have attached herself to her mom’s project, and everything would have been fine. But, with everyone happy, it almost guarantees that Lisa will be the one whose morals take things back to the status quo.

This episode also featured some talented guest stars including Illeana Douglas and Werner Herzog. But to really take things up the unforgettable Jenny Slate makes her Simpsons debut. It is shocking that the hilarious voice star has yet to appear on the show. Considering she has done nearly everything else and her vocal talents have been showcased in everything from Big Mouth to Bob’s Burgers. It is about time The Simpsons found a place for her unique brand of quirky and rambunctious.

The Simpsons may not have given us a season send-off that’ll keep us talking all summer. These are no longer the years of “Who Shot Mr. Burns?”. However, there is so much to celebrate in the completion of this milestone season that it does not really matter. Heck, the show probably would have had a free pass all year from critics and fans just for sentimental reasons, but at no point did the show rest on those laurels. And, this season finale is evidence that the creators are dedicated to providing original and entertaining content. But, we can get into that more during the season review. For this episode, it may not have been the highlight of the season, but it was a sweet note to leave us on. Now, we can all start counting down until next season.

Jesse Bereta

Jesse (Green Onion) Bereta is a chef of words. Classically trained in the kitchen, Jesse changed careers in ‘015 to pursue his passion of writing (and being a full time pop culture nerd). Aside from his work as a freelance writer, Jesse also operates his own website, podcasts, and is a father of two budding sprouts. The Green Onion headquarters is located in Calgary, Alberta, Canada.

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