Review: Squidbillies “Tortuga de Mentiras”

The fat man’s words are a turtle of lies.

OVERVIEW (SPOILERS)

After a very Weird-Al-y opening theme, the relatively new preacher Nubbins readies the church for an upcoming mission trip, which Early immediately objects to. At least if it’s going back to Haiti. Luckily, it’s to Quetzaltenango, Guatemala. Here, Early will finally use the journal he found to find his missing parents and save the Green-Eyed Peopl-

…wait, hang on, the wrong review. Early heads out to get ready for the trip happening a week later, but Nubbins told him the wrong date. The rest of the church is leaving that night at 3 AM to sneak away before he can follow. Obviously, these trips don’t mean even remotely the same amount of work as it does the rest of the group, though Granny fears they’ll have to deal with his wrath as soon as the ruse is up. Sure enough, Early catches on and follows Sheriff to the rendezvous spot. At the work site, he buckles under the work and steals the copper wiring to get partying cash and gets beat up and sent home for his trouble. Back at home, Granny and Rusty decide to redecorate to their liking only to have it all burnt down when Early gets back. But don’t worry, he also burnt down the church for hurting his feeling, but blew up his own place so no one could possibly blame him. Once the churchgoers return (with no homes built thanks to Sheriff’s shit electric work) and see the damage, Granny takes this opportunity to shoot Early down and after a bit of coercing, everyone agrees it was for the best. After all, it was lightning. Lightning can hit anyone. Anyone…

OUR TAKE

Well, this one’s not really about much, other than showcasing how much of a massive waste of space Early is on his whole community, and how his weird mind works in trying to avoid blame. This is probably the first time we’ve seen anyone take this kind of action against him, though, so that’s different, even though it’ll be undone by next week. They threw in some decent “build a wall” jokes, but…yeah, Early is a dick. That’s this one in a nutshell.