Review: Marvel’s Guardians of the Galaxy: Mission Break Out “Paranoid” ; “Darkhawks on the Edge of Town “

Don’t bother.

Overview (Spoilers Below)

The Guardians head to Asgard with Thor in an attempt to convince Odin to help out with the Darkhawks, instead, the Asgardian King puts everyone in jail. With Loki’s help, everyone’s able to escape but not before learning that Rocket was a Darkhawk this whole time and now he’s got a bomb strapped to his chest large enough to blow up Asgard. We’re able to subdue the bot, and Odin agrees to let Thor and the Guardians infiltrate where the Darkhawks come from and put an end to this once and for all. Odin’s brother, The Serpent, is behind all of the Darkhawk shenanigans and he even has most of the universe’s prominent figures, including the real Rocket, under lockdown. Thanks to both the Guardians’ Asgardian-upgraded weapons and teamwork, The Serpent is defeated and the galaxy is rid of the Darkhawks for good.

Our Take

The reason why The Serpent is called The Serpent has nothing to do with snakes made out of energy. It’s because Thor’s uncle is a shapeshifter which kind of ruins this whole storyline for me. On top of all of this, we get Loki with his full Soul Stone-equipped staff, but I guess we’re supposed to gloss over that tiny detail. Look, this is the last time we’re going to have to cover this god-awful show. For three seasons, Marvel’s Guardians of the Galaxy has thrown us one uninspiring “flarg” after another featuring poorly cheapened imitations of their MCU feature film counterparts. For my money, this show is second only to the numerous failed Spider-Man efforts on my “horseshit-o-meter” and I’m happy to see it killed off. Marvel Animated Television just doesn’t get it. Maybe someone from DC Entertainment Universe can jump on over and show these Mickey-eared producers how it’s done.