Review: Marvel Rising: Secret Warriors

A real miss.

For the uninitiated, Marvel Rising: Secret Warriors’ one job is to introduce you, the viewing public, to all of the not-Avengers of the Marvel universe. Not only are they really not-Avengers, but the lot of them are spin-offs inspired by the originals with the lone exceptions being Lockjaw, Quake, and Squirrel Girl, the latter of which is merely here for comedic purposes and isn’t expected to take part in any real action. Add in the fact that this is a Disney production, and we’re already in a heap of trouble.

Fortunately, there’s a lot to like about the “Secret Warriors” initiative. For the most part, the new heroes picked are a lot of fun and fit the mold that Marvel has been doing a lot of lately with the likes of Runaways and Cloak and Dagger in that they introduce new characters in waves and see what sticks. In the case of this show, it’s relatively unknown characters like Miss America and Patriot that fill a pseudo spot for those looking for Captain America. For the purposes of this nearly 90-minute long movie, Ms. Marvel acts as the centerpiece of the viewing audience as to what it is like to hold an Avenger (like Captain Marvel) in high regard and the need to wanting to be like her one day. That said, Ms. Marvel, is an Inhuman. And similar to Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. the premise of the film revolves around the Kree, lead by Hala,  looking to stake a claim in the humans that have turned into genetically superior versions of themselves.

In this universe, Ms. Marvel, Quake, and new characters Exile and Inferno are all Inhumans, the name that used to be “mutants”, but because Disney didn’t have the right to use that term for so many years instead went with Inhumans. And while the live-action series didn’t work, the animated film does the right job of bringing back the only character from that series worth keeping in touch about…a big huge dog named “Lockjaw”. Unfortunately, while the number of characters introduced was interesting, a lot of what we’ve seen that makes most Marvel television on Disney terrible rears it’s ugly head here. Terrible choreography, stupid dialogue (every one of Squirrel Girl’s punchlines will make you want to throw shit at your TV), and a generally unkempt plot make this thing a mess. In terms of voice acting, everyone is pretty solid with the obvious champions being Chloe Bennett (Quake) and Ming Na-Wen, but Milana Vayntrub (Squirrel Girl) and Kathleen Khavari make for a fun duo, even if their male counterparts sound like they are reading off of index cards when doing their lines (Boo Boo Stewart and Kamil McFadden are just plain bad at this).

I think Disney-Marvel has a good start here, but there’s a lot they could fix. For starters, I would’ve used a different character than “Quake”, mainly because I think she’s essentially on the level of Captain America in terms of powers and abilities and really didn’t need the screen time as most of America has seen her on ABC’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Everyone knows her backstory and that she was, in fact, Inhuman the entire film and didn’t need the “surprise” at the end. “Inferno” is another stretch, mainly because Marvel has so many fire-wielding characters like Sunspot, Human Torch, Pyro, and others that using yet another fire-wielding character comes across as unoriginal. Captain Marvel and the Kree? Merely an appetizer for the Captain Marvel feature-length opening in theaters next year.

Disney-Marvel is going to bank on the fact that Marvel Rising: Secret Warriors is a series meant to showcase Marvel’s inclusiveness of different cultures and backgrounds to form a team, and it will work. But, the “guts” of the franchise, the stuff under the hood that simply makes a film or series great just isn’t there yet and leaves a lot to be desired.