Review: Legends of Chamberlain Heights “Chocolate Milk”

Mmmm….chocolate milk.

Who wants to go turn up at a “Nat Turn Up”? Everybody does because A’pos’trafee’a’s parties are always lit. Every black person is going including Grover and Jamal, but Milk doesn’t get invited because he’s white. I feel kind of bad for the kid, he is being discriminated against because of his skin color. Damn, that sucks. Anyway, Milk does exactly what any logical person would do in this situation. He decides to get a tanning session to make himself black and “fix God’s mistake”.

The Nat Turn Up party and it is a drag. Jamal almost falls asleep from eating too much food, until Chocolate Milk shows up and the party really gets started. The party instantly goes from a sleeper to a rager and Chocolate Milk is the center of attention and hooking up with girls that normally would’ve shut him down. It’s safe to say that everybody loves Chocolate Milk. It really looks like Chocolate Milk is the only Milk that should have existed from the get go. Seriously. His swag is drippin’ all over the place. The only person who doesn’t rock with Chocolate Milk is Malik. But is Chocolate Milk feelin’ himself a little too much? Grover seems to think so when Chocolate Milk starts scheming about hooking up with Cindy AND A’pos’trafee’an at the same time. It ain’t fun if the homies can’t get any, right?

Chocolate Milk is even getting some burn on the basketball court – as well as fouls being called in his favor – due to his “light privilege”. However, even Jamal feels like Chocolate Milk goes too far when he throws away the last sloppy joe. Malik tries to get Chocolate Milk to chill, but Chocolate Milk makes an enemy when he tells Malik that Malik just feels entitled because he’s darker skinned. Malik gets his payback by changing the settings on Milks tanning session from “Chris Brown Light skinned” to “Akon Dark Skinned”.

Chocolate Milk is now “Draymond”, and immediately sees the results of being a darker shade of black. Shops close and put up “not hiring” signs as he passes by. He gets stopped by the police in his own neighborhood. I was afraid for a second that he was going to share the same fate as Trayvon Martin (God rest his soul). Even the ladies aren’t feeling Draymond and his double dates walk out on him. His parents act differently around him. The list just gets longer and longer! Things just ain’t as sweet as Milk thought they would be being “chocolate”. Eventually the inevitable happens…. Milk, I mean Draymond, snaps and goes on a rampage throughout the high school. Grover and Jamal realize something must be done. Malik reveals that the answer is a blaxorcism, a treatment only Stacy Dash has the answer to. After capturing Draymond, Joe Jackson literally whips the black off of Milk. Milk learns his lesson and earns an Oscar in the process. All is well in Chamberlain Heights again.

This episode was hilarious to me, but it also had a few underlying lessons that had a powerful impact. I had always thought that Milk had a little bit more flavor to him than Grover and Jamal and I thought he would’ve been cooler if he was black. Chocolate Milk was that dude and had the entire world at his fingertips, but he got too cocky and full of himself. His hubris got in the way and his own ego became his downfall. The same hate that he got as Milk for being a white boy, was magnified exponentially once he became Draymond. Nothing went his way because he was too black. The old saying is true, “be careful what you wish for, because you may just get it”. Like a mischievous genie who corrupts the wishes of those who have their desires granted, Milk got more than he bargained for while he was Draymond. Once he was brought back to his original self, he learned an important lesson: be yourself. Oh well. At least Montrel thought “Draymond” was cool. I can’t wait to see what happens next week and laugh at the misadventures that our homies in Chamberlain Heights get into. I’m not going to lie though, a part of me wishes Chocolate Milk stuck around for a few more episodes.