Review: Happy Wheels “The Day After Wednesday Sale”

The day after Wednesday, I’ll forget this episode exists.

Spoilers Below

Lucky me, we get another combo deal with Happy Wheels this week. But whatever gets this done sooner, the better.

A parking lot and strip mall are full of exploding and flaming cars as the team look on. Stephen proclaims that 318 people died at last week’s “Day After Wednesday Sale”. Dennis explains the joke, pointing out that the day after Wednesay is Thursday. So glad to know that people are getting paid to write this caliber of writing. Though who am I to talk, haha. The team strolls in to investigate and spread safety tips that no one will give a shit about. Turns out all this hullabaloo is about the sale of a coveted game console, the Playbox 420 (which also sounds like a joke that would be more relevant if this show came out six years ago when the game did). Jim decides to get one to win over Cody, Stephen wants to close the deal to look good on his resume, and who really cares about what the fat lady and the homeless guy think.

Well, apparently, he does, since he sees another hallucination of a disturbing figure made up of spots, who he tells not to worry because he has “a plan”. That plan entails falling underneath a bridge on what of the upper levels of the mall in order to fall into a pit of spikes. Mission accomplished. Janet tries to go up a down escalator in her rascal and gets ground up into it, making it up only in pieces. Jim and Dennis find a short cut to the remaining consoles, but Dennis seems more worried about warning people to be safe. Jim then sends Cody up a…I don’t know, I guess it’s an anti-gravity thing to check it out, but gets punctured by arrows and exploded by a mine as Dennis looks on disapprovingly. A crowd shows up to push him and Stephen into the thing so they can all be crushed by spikes. A blood-stained Playbox falls into Dennis’ lap, and he decides to leave with the spoils, likely because everyone else will respawn later, and safety tips are pointless. But he does get to leave on an optimistic note, as the commentators are here for some odd reason to report that only 317 people have died (supposedly some of these deaths are permanent, but I don’t buy that for a goddamn second), meaning that one extra person survived. At least Dennis gets to be happy…as he runs over the commentators, whose guts fly all the way to the town population sign, which is still going up for some reason. Does this mean anything? Are some deaths permanent? Watch me attempt to care for four more episodes.

I guess the only notable thing about this episode compared to the previous four is that this made use of a lot more scenes referencing the game, thus making it actually feel like an adaptation. The scenario was boring as usual, but at least I have actual visuals to match with my experiences watching Let’s Plays of this, even if those are infinitely funnier than this will likely ever be.