Review: American Dad “The Never-Ending Stories”

They want me to make an ICP reference but I’m not going to give them the satisfaction.

OVERVIEW (SPOILERS)

Stan regales his family with a thrilling story of his attempt to gain a parking space. I’m just kidding, it’s actually boring them to death, to the point that they’re hiding under the floor and trying to flee the house to escape him. This boredom extends to his office friends, emotionally crushing him. A distraction from this comes when Bullock calls Stan in to discuss taking over his CIA class for a day while he takes a trip to an island of swingers. And thanks to this, we are treated to a moment of an animated oiled and nearly nude Patrick Stewart twerks for us. What a time to be alive.

At the class, Stan is directed to the room by a very muscular principal voiced by J.K. Simmons but is at a loss for what to do, so he just throws on a showing of Spy Kids 3D and makes an offhand comment about the movie. Surprisingly, everyone begins taking notes, mostly out of fear that something he’s said will come up again later in a quiz. Stan takes this to mean that he finally has a captive audience to listen to his boring stories, and even sabotages Bullock’s ride home to spend more time with them.

All goes well until Roger shows up as the supposed mother of one of the students (because of course) and outs Stan’s abuse of his teaching role to the totally jacked principal. In order to make sure the class passes its midterms, Stan uses magnets to give them excellent scores in everything. This works a bit TOO well, and now the class is sent on an extra tough mission in Nicaragua where they will surely die. Stan and Roger head there to rescue them but are also soon captured. They are only saved by Stan finally listening to his student’s strengths AND by sacrificing his tongue to a gunshot while protecting them. AND by it turning out the swinger’s island is nearby.

Also, Klaus tries his hand at being a hype man, but gets greedy and tries for the rap game. This does not go well.

OUR TAKE

It’s times like this I’m not entirely sure if shows like American Dad can really be applied to critical thought as we know it. It’s a show that, like its peers and sister shows that have managed to go on this long, has VERY much found a cozy medium that they don’t really plan to break out of regularly if they can help it. This is a pretty standard episode that fits that idea. It’s a totally functional story, not really bad by any means, has a generally positive message, has just enough illicit humor to keep you a bit startled, and doesn’t feel like a waste of time in the end. This is pretty basic American Dad right here. Total C+.

But really, friggin magnets, how do they wo-OH GOD DAMMIT THEY GOT ME.