Your personal chaos.
Kaneki struggles to make sense of what he’s done.
The animation is as good as the animation has been for this whole series: subpar, but I will say that something besides the animation stood out to me this time, that being the soundtrack.
In the space deep in Kaneki’s head, there’s no sound, at all. There are sound effects, but there’s no background music whatsoever, which makes for an incredibly somber experience. Kaneki is in a giant void of nothingness, trapped with his own guilt and his own self-doubt. There is no escape, and the sound design reflects just how abysmal this place is. There being no background music to accompany this scene also adds just how unnatural the setting is, as well as highlight what sounds there are, that being the conversations and the sound effects. The sound effects; the squelching, splashing, footsteps, and dissonant noise of the shrine all become amplified, and we become part of that space. They could have done some eerie background music or something quiet, but opting to go with nothing makes the sounds that are there all the more haunting and fitting for the atmosphere.
In the shrine, Kaneki comes face to face with Rize, who holds him responsible for all that he’s done. All the people that he murdered in his centipede form are constantly filling up the water, and that is the muck that he has to swim through to escape. Before he can do that, he has to come to terms with himself, with the fact that he completely overturned Rize’s life, and that his actions aren’t really selfless after all. He does want to have some happiness for his friends, but his motivations are mostly self-centered. He wants to have a place of being, to be accepted, to be loved, and with that, he can justify his actions- even if his violence as the monster centipede isn’t one he would’ve taken.
Outside, he has to accept responsibility in two forms: fighting back and talking to Hide. By fighting back and not worrying about causing disaster, he can truly protect those he cares about. In confronting Hide, who he long thought was dead, he can truly see what sort of damage he can do when out of control- it’s not a massive violent rampage, but hurting those around him that he cares for. When he stares that in the face and accepts it, only then can he truly resolve himself?