English Dub Review: Nekopara “House-Sitting Cats”

 

 

Overview (Spoilers Below)

And now: a semi-ridiculous episode of the Nekopara.

Even though he’s the only baker and sole proprietor of a popular patisserie, Master decides to take a weekend minibreak to a strawberry plantation. The dolt enjoys strawberries and likely plans to bring a bunch back for the store as well as some for his cats to snack on, but taking the time off is simply not a solid business move. Anyway, a big storm hits while he’s taking a train across Japan. The storm massively delays his train, trapping him between his home and the strawberry fields—forever. And that’s the last we see of him.

Shigure is also away, which leaves the seven cats at the big house all by themselves. She plans to return home after a periotic in-person meeting of her online cat-lovers group, but the harsh weather has put traffic at a standstill. Instead, she calls home and informs Maple she’ll be spending the night at a hotel.

And so, the cats are left to their own devices. After devouring a bunch of snacks and playing a few rounds of cards, the girls get a little bored and decide to tell scary stories. Well… Vanilla is hell bent on talking ‘bout ghosts; Maple, on the other hand, appears a little frightened of such mischievous stories.

Anyway, like a classic episode of The Simpsons, the cats all take turns telling stories—scary and otherwise. Vanilla begins with a tale of two 18^th century cats (played by Maple and Cinnamon), who come upon a gang of cats in the woods (played by everybody else). The transient cats invite the girls to rest at the campsite. The sheltered cats oblige, partaking in their hospitality. However, sometime in the night, all the hobo cats disappear, leaving the original two to deal with a ghastly, faceless woman who emerges from a nearby well.

Frightened by the story, Maple urges Chocola to tell a fairy tale. Chocola agrees, and concocts a Choco/Vanilla version of Hansel and Gretel. This tepid version has absolutely no conflict and is a very poor story that consists solely of two cats gorging themselves on sweets. Vanilla tries to spice things up by making the story sexier and way more inappropriate.

The next few stories involve a magic lamp (with a sexy Master genie), a large, Gulliver’s Travels-inspired Azuki, and a trickster lake goddess who gets doubly tricked by a scheming Vanilla who swipes a silver and golden axe from her. While these stories are all different, the one thing they have in common is Cinnamon getting all worked up and sexually aroused over a bunch of perverted talk and innuendo.

The purple-haired puss isn’t happy that her sisters see her as nothing but an enormous pervert and is about to start an all-out brawl when the ghastly, faceless woman from Vanilla’s story shows up in real life. Oh wait, never mind; it’s just Shigure who walked all the way home, desperate not to miss out on a night with her beloved cats.

 

Our Take

Aside from Master’s doomed train excursion and Shigure’s cab ride from hell, most of the action took place in the main room of the big house. While the numerous stories transported us out of that cramped setting for moments at a time, the intimacy of the small room acted as a perfect catalyst for creating authentic sisterly moments, and on such a cold and dreary night.

Such an atmospheric episode might best be enjoyed on an actual rainy night, preferably in the dark. But if you can’t have that, at least be content living vicariously through these humanoid kitties—unless you’re a strange fetishist. In that case, you already know what you’re doing and you have nothing to learn from me.

A few weeks back, I deduced that Vanilla isn’t attracted to Chocola sexually, but is rather one of those uncomfortably close relatives. You know the type: the ones who lean in and kiss you right on the mouth even when you haven’t seen them in over five years. Tonight, I must once again reevaluate the above assertion, and accept that Vanilla is into her sister, at least a little bit. However, more than likely, she’s lusting after Chocola in a big way. How many filthy-minded cats does this family need?

Sure enough, all of these cats are out of their damn minds. However, through the stories they told, we have a better picture of the levels of insanity being carried by each feline. While Vanilla and Cinnamon are out of their gourds, Maple and Azuki enjoy a more subtle form of crazy. The latter two could go to the bank or a supermarket and not be immediately turned away for public lunacy. That’s a positive attribute for a cat in my book.

On the other, other hand, Chocola might be the sanest cat in the bunch—with the exception of Cacao who remains content keeping quiet and unassuming. Unfortunately, nobody realizes the normality and saneness of old Chocola because she’s very, very stupid.

I wouldn’t mind seeing another episode like this in the future. Overall it was fun and we learned a bunch of new (sometimes disturbing) information about our favorite lady cats.

Plus Ultra!