English Dub Review: Dances With The Dragons “Goddess of Revenge”

An eye for an eye leaves the world riddled with holes.

Overview (Spoilers)

Gaiyus and Gigina are in deep trouble. They’re facing off against a swordsman with a morphing sword, a teleporting summoner, and a shapeshifter currently in the form of a dragon. The brothers alone are an even match for our heroes, but that shapeshifter throws a whole new wrench in the works. Their battle is intense, with fakeouts and feints in every direction. Gaiyus even goes as far as to transmute a tank shell to shoot at their foes. That shell does nothing but get blocked by a sword and sliced to ribbons. Just when things look their bleakest, the shapeshifter gets a claw right through its chest. Nidvorg, the serial mage murderer, arrives on the scene and does what she does best. She makes short work of our enemies and turns her attentions on our friends.

But, why save them if she just plans to kill them? They figured out that she is a dragon, and the wife of the dragon they killed in the first episode. She’s here for revenge, sure, but that isn’t enough. She’s already used her power to bring Gaiyus back from the brink of death after his tussle with the ninjas. She plans to do that, time and again. Kill them, revive them, then kill then all over again. However, we just have to kill her once.

At first, it seems like our heroes might just be able to pull it off. Gaiyus counters her acid breath with a stream of base fluid. When the two connect, they make water, which he uses to shock the snot out of her. Despite this and Gigina’s swordwork slicing her head off, she quickly regenerates and impales blasts Gaiyus to death. The battle flip-flops between the two sides, each landing killing blows, only to have them nullified within seconds. That is, until Gaiyus whips out his true finishing move. Do you remember that one spell he mentioned to his school buddy? The one that is illegal and overpowered?

She will. Nidvorg takes her time in dying, as you do. As this is an anime, we get all eternity to hear her story and motivations. The next morning, Gaiyus wakes up in the office of a crackpot doctor. She’s great at her job but is equally likely to change out your arm for a monster tentacle. For the lulz. Newly rejuvenated, Gaiyus and Gigina confront Cardinal Muldine. The conversation devolves into a bunch of smug monologues, but here’s the skinny: Muldine manipulates world politics, and has been maneuvering the nations to ensure peace. Sounds like a nice guy. But, he uses horrible tactics, including throwing assassins at citizens in order to draw out rebel dragons and kill them.

In the meantime, a bunch of guys does a dark ritual. I guess that’s our next story arc!

Our Take

Oh, this episode started sooo good. The action between G&G and the two hitmen is truly entertaining since I can’t expect anything they’re going to do. It shows that each team has plenty of combat experience with their respective partner. Unfortunately, that battle ends rather quickly, and Nidvorg ruins everything. Her battle was supposed to be super-intense, but the end result exposes how ridiculous the writing is here. In this skirmish alone, Gaiyus took wounds that would kill a human in a fraction of a second. THREE TIMES. If you think that’s bad, it is the same day he signed out of the hospital, where he recovered from a near-death injury. The final wound would have removed several vital organs. He just sits around jabbering for two to three minutes before pulling off a super-spell, then jabbering on for another few minutes. He should be dead.

Yeah, I know. It’s fiction, and rule of cool meets plot armor to keep him alive. I still have a problem with this, and not from a logical perspective. It hurts the drama. Knowing a character consistently survives vivisection means that no injury they receive is a threat. Are we ever worried when Wolverine gets impaled on stuff? Nope. It hurts, sure, but we know it’s meaningless in the end. Since we have Gaiyus protected by plot armor and an overcoat of cool, we have the illusion of potential defeat taken from us. There is nothing Gaiyus can’t do. Oh, look, another OP main character. What’s even the point in Gigina being here, except to have a platonic tsundere on the team. When are writers going to learn that OP main characters are boring as all get out?

And, really, this only gets worse whenever Muldine joins the conversation. Worst villain ever. He’s a fusion of all the tropish bad guys you could think of, but not in an interesting way. He’s a manipulator, but he’s manipulating for the good of mankind! Okay. But he’s unscrupulous and doesn’t have any clearly defined morality, so he basically does a bunch of random stuff, says he’s making the world a better place and walks away. Not menacing. Not compelling. Not worth my time.